let it all out and heal and make art so sublime even the oars

let it all out and heal and make art so sublime even the oars cannot find a way surround it with their horrors

the keep-no-track-of-days not weeks but 1+1+1+1 of days

the(I'm off today, yea) bluejaye drops like it has fallen from the five foot fence, straddling the loquat tree with its drooping dropping drupules and hops like a detested villainous crow to rob some dry cat morsels
and I think
how could anyone keep veal calves and not believe they would burn in the lowest buddha hell?
and then i have some more vegan pizza and self-righteously say
"There is so much sad about this world"
and then
I think
of you

and it seems liveable again
and for this i am gratitude

the keep-no-track-of-days not weeks but 1+1+1+1 of days

the(I'm off today, yea) bluejaye drops like it has fallen from the five foot fence, straddling the loquat tree with its drooping dropping drupules and hops like a detested villainous crow to rob some dry cat morsels
and I think
how could anyone keep veal calves and not believe they would burn in the lowest buddha hell?
and then i have some more vegan pizza and self-righteously say
"There is so much sad about this world"
and then
I think
of you

and it seems liveable again
and for this i am gratitude

no more nazis vs russkies war reels on the 'tube for me,danka

nICHT UND NEIN because? porquoi i cannot hack nor handle the verity of it all the meannesses which make any thing EVER done to me look shabu shabby in 'parison nonpareil

it dreamifies my daymares and slashes at my pillowslip all the nightlong linger malingering

so it is back to old sixties tunes for me
the ones you never hear on the radio,y'know

you see i like helping my fellows alchies at our meetings and more

it makes my world tohelp those who can't stay clean and sober

only thing is i do that lottilots and wanna figure outa way to use this increidbly high powerd mind and soul of mine and my mien to
succeed
tried musics, art, novels, poetry(tip: if you can't attach a poem to a song, don't bother)
and all failings
mostliestly due to my cowardice and poor staying power and instant success lies

when i see the candidates, i want to fulfill my own dream, as swell

you see, for an academically oriented soul like unto myself
nothing could be more facile than being told
read this
watch that
print out this
type this
fill in that
here's your new higher degree
go to work doing it and prosper

the problem is
been there and did it and the umph to go back is not there(neither is the coinages)

so the degrees i do have are helpful
just i don't get paid full recompense for them
just compost and compote

so the thing i'm asking myself here is

what field can i enter which asks me to read study mesmerize regurglitate genuflect and move up the ladder?
can't think of none myself,iether

y'see, i studied X to become Y

I was gonna teach and tutor but didn't really have the requisite crack-the-whip classroom skills
so
on the rebound emotively from being told 'go substiitute for a while and learn'

i said heck with you all
i'll go back and get another degree in sky collogy
which worked well
except

(and this is some thing it would have been wisdom to consider 'ere I plunged the twiced)

when working with clients rather than with mechanisms and mechanos as i had done heretofore
i cared very much
see
when i was working in the engineering field
yes yes yes
i cared
but
not as much
that is
i always strove to do my best
yet it didn't grab me like
working with people's souls does

and so when i was in the eneginerering field
i left it at the office and also the numbers didn't fight one so
as do the humanities

oddly
one gets higher recompense for building than for souls