don't much matter long as i am calmycalmstaars

qai head for my tubbing scrubbing and who-knows-really =which of my myriad books to peruse like a submariner on the surface of the moon's mountainranges
which book i shall read

digressions on Doc Dyer

For me, getting up an hour early to listen to the CD where he talks about the variations on Om in the different religions of the world and also where he gets really intense about opening up, was truly helpful to me. I 'fess that I had to have the surgery anyhow, but my responses were so much less and my healing was swift. I do believe IF I had gone to that belief system earlier, I would have been alleviated of the ailment entirely but i had let it go on too long, y'know?I also must say that, for example, when my mom died when I was five,there is no way now or then,especially, I could have seen no woe.I am sure that from the 'right frame of mind', one might have that perception, but I am so far from that collosally celestial and ego-unbound mindset and soul-walk, that there is no way I can claim that perch..My biggest question nowadays is How can we use our minds the same way we use medications, since medications just tell our minds what to tell our bodies to do...I believe in this and yet have not moved very far at all along that perch

to learn from my own false takes

to learn from my own stakes
when the possum tangled with the pooch
the pooch always lost
when i mussed with perfectionism i always had to wind up drinking sleet soda

iother kids didn't Really believe that god stuff with all the devils out to get you but
in my home
they were practially
fiends of the family
and were postered all over the wall much bigger than wrestler's gooseyes

the glut of guilt for staying home neath the quilt

when i restume my dutues tomorrow i do not need to go
oh my stars ieghty phone calls to answer
nope
most all of it can be chalked up to already tookend care of(accurately and aptly)
and the meanness of the cows orkers well expecct it they is self centered to an degeree that would be digireedoo healthy for myelf me ooh to attain obtain untol, see
i never call in sick
that in itself should say something about my perfectionishm and astoundishingly slavish minddust

nevertheless
today i am not fully ready nor abel to resume my duties most dutifully
and in my mind am 'ready twipping on specifics of clients et al
now that in its shelf is unhealy
so it is mandatatoratory that to averse purge a tory i
realize the hellishness that my mind puschts me into
that is:
i must get all this right
none must have anything to criticialize me for
i mustn't make a boo,boo
and i cannot bend but must meet all criteriaon
(i am not talking about unethical or anything of that naturum at all, i am talking about
my own much higher standarts and how i can keep those but more relaxedly
I HAVE BEEN TAKING THIS JOB STUFF WAY TOO SERIOUSLSIILY
and need to get a leaf(not weed but make like a tree and leave it behind)
i can't resume after being ill for a couple weeks to cupola back in and canalize my mindsoulbabygoodness back into a squishydwishy of
i must make up for lost time
you cannot make up for 'lost time' temps perdu
and so stopper going about search and researching for them
and also being ill ain't no crime,clime

as over the grape stalks i trapezoid traipsed

as i walked i noted
my biking boots left big grapplehooks of tender mounds of leftovers

there were so myriad a passersby yet not but twice did I pull away from my focus

there were a few shouted Hey you with the bloomers, wassup?
but i was focusered on my archeoplyx multipfindingish

i was the miles standish of the now

i retrieved a bit of brokered off recoiled rustworthy truckspring
(aching to be entered unchanged and untrampled into an unresisting piece
and i noted peculiarly twisted bits of grapecurlings
which had swung so glibly from the overarching wired-upon

i saw shards of bottled thickness
which would not splattershat unless they were hammerfired

and to think of the bottlecaps themselves
so pristine on one side
so replete with muckingmulch on their netherrealms

there were wood splurts that were unbenumbing in their agility to aha and wakify the open-toed mind-sandal-soul
IF ONLY ONE WOULD IGNORE THE IGNOMINIOUS BEETS AND GALOOTS AND THEIR whatthehadesmerceymeiswrongwithyou,there,dumbdum?

one can
one can]
one did
of a once

cuz i am not abel to be there and not cough my fool head on

i am gonna call in sick tomorrow i am NOT up to three groups;lectures etc
to hell with guilt and its glut-quilt

cuz i am not abel to be there and not cough my fool head on

i am gonna call in sick tomorrow i am NOT up to three groups;lectures etc
to hell with guilt and its glut-quilt