Monday, June 30, 2008

why not just go past it tall

those signs that would come in couplet form

DO NOT FEAR

TO CUT YOUR FINGER

IF AT THE RAZOR'S EDGE

YOU 'LOW YOURSELF TO LINGER

and such

and how the buddhist gal said that was like the clouds
let them be

or the famed
ILET EM WHIRL of the dervish-neighbor

or the colors in a jar like the brain of that cat in the wizard series

that's what the minsdowman sayeth

if you was me 'n

if you was me 'n
i was all you
my yin would yen
your yang would too

our cores would yum
(our pores could hum)
the total sum?
a she + a he-fearsiefearsX healing=tasty plum

Saturday, June 28, 2008

THE HEALING HOPS IN

THIS IS A POEM ABOUT THE INNER ME WHICH IS THIN
UNLIKE THE OUTER ME WHICH NEEDS TO FATTEN DOWN
dumping memory
'lowing me to heal
awarenessing
re-un-harnessing
arising arousing sense surrounding
the halo helacious healing, Ach, the ache:
it hop hips in(so thin)

mokee from the hills and the redondo rebound redundant tanzerleibester

sorta tiredy today
it has been mokey(smokey) from the hills
and in an odd sequence
leaving go of sporting outcomes

at the meet this morni
as we talked about how when in our cups we would be so much more than we were
only to fizzle upon running a comb thru the next coming-to

and how family(for 'most all of us in residence)
was at the same time what we wanted most and whom we could least talk to most directly

it keeps on, y'know?

mokee from the hills and the redondo rebound redundant tanzerleibester

sorta tiredy today
it has been mokey(smokey) from the hills
and in an odd sequence
leaving go of sporting outcomes

at the meet this morni
as we talked about how when in our cups we would be so much more than we were
only to fizzle upon running a comb thru the next coming-to

and how family(for 'most all of us in residence)
was at the same time what we wanted most and whom we could least talk to most directly

it keeps on, y'know?

Monday, June 23, 2008

today was making such a strong effort to challenge my patterns of tripping on stuff and it worked

today was making such a strong effort to challenge my patterns of tripping on stuff and it worked
until i got into an internal overload mindset(a simple notepad woulda helped, i guess)
and wammokazamoo i was off and churning

but i mellowed out a bit skater

Sunday, June 22, 2008

unthinkable to blame she who helps so grandly

unthinkable to blame she who helps so grandly
but
there it tis

Saturday, June 21, 2008

never 'low an Overdoser to sleep

never have uysed opoioids or dopiates but was so saddled with saddy to learn that someone had old fashion thought 'lowing an overdosed young man to rest would somehow be a manna but instead the breathing faltered and fizzled

and now we who loved him are all gristle and humus

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

don't dump me plea?

babe i know you hasn't always approve of me
but goddess
don't dump me plea?
you are too precocity to my babyinnards
and would die, i would,
without you i witherings

Sunday, June 15, 2008

the more i relax, with aid from dear friends, the more i heal

this dear friend athe morning 11th meet gave me the grandest embrace today and said she loved me and i kissed her cheek and said and I thee

and it was just such a healing sisterly moment



too bad both our fathers were such drunkards, aye

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

let it all out and heal and make art so sublime even the oars

let it all out and heal and make art so sublime even the oars cannot find a way surround it with their horrors

the keep-no-track-of-days not weeks but 1+1+1+1 of days

the(I'm off today, yea) bluejaye drops like it has fallen from the five foot fence, straddling the loquat tree with its drooping dropping drupules and hops like a detested villainous crow to rob some dry cat morsels
and I think
how could anyone keep veal calves and not believe they would burn in the lowest buddha hell?
and then i have some more vegan pizza and self-righteously say
"There is so much sad about this world"
and then
I think
of you

and it seems liveable again
and for this i am gratitude

the keep-no-track-of-days not weeks but 1+1+1+1 of days

the(I'm off today, yea) bluejaye drops like it has fallen from the five foot fence, straddling the loquat tree with its drooping dropping drupules and hops like a detested villainous crow to rob some dry cat morsels
and I think
how could anyone keep veal calves and not believe they would burn in the lowest buddha hell?
and then i have some more vegan pizza and self-righteously say
"There is so much sad about this world"
and then
I think
of you

and it seems liveable again
and for this i am gratitude

Sunday, June 8, 2008

no more nazis vs russkies war reels on the 'tube for me,danka

nICHT UND NEIN because? porquoi i cannot hack nor handle the verity of it all the meannesses which make any thing EVER done to me look shabu shabby in 'parison nonpareil

it dreamifies my daymares and slashes at my pillowslip all the nightlong linger malingering

so it is back to old sixties tunes for me
the ones you never hear on the radio,y'know

Saturday, June 7, 2008

you see i like helping my fellows alchies at our meetings and more

it makes my world tohelp those who can't stay clean and sober

only thing is i do that lottilots and wanna figure outa way to use this increidbly high powerd mind and soul of mine and my mien to
succeed
tried musics, art, novels, poetry(tip: if you can't attach a poem to a song, don't bother)
and all failings
mostliestly due to my cowardice and poor staying power and instant success lies

when i see the candidates, i want to fulfill my own dream, as swell

you see, for an academically oriented soul like unto myself
nothing could be more facile than being told
read this
watch that
print out this
type this
fill in that
here's your new higher degree
go to work doing it and prosper

the problem is
been there and did it and the umph to go back is not there(neither is the coinages)

so the degrees i do have are helpful
just i don't get paid full recompense for them
just compost and compote

so the thing i'm asking myself here is

what field can i enter which asks me to read study mesmerize regurglitate genuflect and move up the ladder?
can't think of none myself,iether

y'see, i studied X to become Y

I was gonna teach and tutor but didn't really have the requisite crack-the-whip classroom skills
so
on the rebound emotively from being told 'go substiitute for a while and learn'

i said heck with you all
i'll go back and get another degree in sky collogy
which worked well
except

(and this is some thing it would have been wisdom to consider 'ere I plunged the twiced)

when working with clients rather than with mechanisms and mechanos as i had done heretofore
i cared very much
see
when i was working in the engineering field
yes yes yes
i cared
but
not as much
that is
i always strove to do my best
yet it didn't grab me like
working with people's souls does

and so when i was in the eneginerering field
i left it at the office and also the numbers didn't fight one so
as do the humanities

oddly
one gets higher recompense for building than for souls