some folks have so much chutzpah and panache, and i so little

omne of my most somber golas has always bene to be more a vbeleivier in my own soulself and my forward healing progress
may this be the day
the calmsness shashay sway,yea

the walls COULD falter and topple , after the death of the loved , and if THAT could hop in, what else is stable?

after the deaths of my folks
i got to fretting that walls themselves could collapse
and roofs and ceilings as swell

there was seismic activity afoot,sure
that was not the factor,though;
it was my uncanny insight that
bad stuffs could and had hopped in
so why wouldn't they domino forward?
why wouldn't the nucleation 'neath the football stadium trigger each and every molecule in the realm
and take us all(specially myself)
painward?

naturally that didn't happen then and it didn't happen to me
nor the roofs I was under
but to know they wouldn't falter asunder...
just then that was beyond me
now you see how booze had me so ripe for the muck?

vicarious thrills of a sober alkie and a weedpiper in rrecuperation, as swell

to encourage the encourager to have a sip of some freebrei wine, when i'm a sober alkie myself, is trebly wronging
1. she'll decide for herself is she wants to drink, not at my encouragement(why would i want someone else to discover the 'joys of boozing', such as they might be, anyhow?)
2. i don't need to try to get my jollies watching her have a glow or a slight buzz
it might not be good for her healing ongoing and also it is like a falsie commercial that says 'See, booze isn't bad for you, it isn't hurting her none....'.
BOOZE =VERYVERYVERYVERY BAD FOR ME
CUZ i am a recovering alcoholic,forever(OR I can go back to drinking highly unsuccessfully? nay nay nay O goddess of Arte help me this day not that to do never to go back to the poison road, no
3. i need to realize that since i'm an alcoholic
others might have their reasons(and good ones, as well) for not drinking...
but the main one is : would i encourage someone to smoke a joint near me or to eat some yummy sugar-laden chocolate cakes?
nay

un trappered and unbeknownst, she sleeks

un trappered and iwthout traps of jaw irons about herself
the she-birdling straddles the art abyss and bravely countenances her soul kernel

healing chill, relaxingly sunless

the shelties and us
traipsing, loosing from gloves(not in fact, just in fret)
we saw a perpetuum maquina
a stuffed macaw
a clam in its own stewing
and some type of min-universally appropo canon del sol

p.s. how nice you was today boo(exclamatedo)

if ever we could leap away from the void without evading the now,ach

if ever
if ever honey
either of us evades the harsh punisher within
would one of us pact and text and fax the otter to let her hymn know that
there is a weg off the uncommon weal of karmic comic

lacking the confidence of a chipmunk or a newborn clam

we is learning that we will never have the toddler's self-confidence in thems elf
and so we always must remain close to our core natures or we can get so hurt by the unkindliest of souls out there, y'know, little bird?

lacking the confidence of a chipmunk or a newborn clam

we is learning that we will never have the toddler's self-confidence in thems elf
and so we always must remain close to our core natures or we can get so hurt by the unkindliest of souls out there, y'know, little bird?

neil young(genuflect,plea) and neil young iimitarots

1. i adore neil young
2. he is canadian but has poured millions into the u.s. economy(as well as making many millions more) via his taxes
3. if he isn't naturalized he can't vote
4. i agree with him that this current war is a tragic error and needs to be ended not open-ended
5. i visitored canada and had positives/negatives about the sites i visited. don't we all have our 'takes' on places we stay?
6. his harvest moon is the greatest simplest solo love song ever, comma
7. this one goodly soul on the tube(Utube, of course) has done an exact imitation of him on this gem Harvest Moon
8. I wish to heck i could play that ggood
Or
that i could sing just like neil
but
9. ust like in that book by vonnegut where the guy paints stuff so much like the(surface)realness that it is why bother not take a photo?
i feel mr young(not in the same vein as the late skate lynnyrd woulda said but that was remember 34 years ago or so...she exclaimed)
i feel old neil would tell this fellow
"why not be YOU and let me be me?" I bet this kindly gent could sing his own songs his own way even better
HUGS
neilfan

The lost heritage of Alaskan Art by polly and leon miller

my stars, how could so vile the euros treat the amerindians?
centuries later(there were more native americans THEN then there are today, that is not a believeable fact but htere it tis)
it still irks and grinds and leaves the most biting taste of zinc in the maw

my nieces so nice

each o my nieces(and nephews, as swell)
are exceedingly hyper-nice
one is a healer travailing in vasty lands to help the quake-ridden
one travels about helping those whose needs are more entrepeneurial
one was working with those with such signal disablings to learn how to cope and copycat
and one helps by showing kids how to learn and even concocts the most humorously 'frightful' stories they rememberand ask "tell it again,plea?"

oterhs needs and our own can bring us out of our i-so-lately-lone-shun ism`

tje way in is

now that you see, the grief the reef heisted me, you wouldn't have to take me for no righ hide

now that you know
the way i hurt my toe
i stubbed it and couldn't rub it for all the wonder

i loved that gal
more than the wind loves the sail
and when we went asunder i fell to the thunder

the booze called my name
but thank goodness program kept me tamed
so i wept and wailed and woed and didn't blunder.

so now i know
the way for me to crow
is not to have no girlfriend nor be no boyfriend to get plundered

i see for me
it's truly got to Gee...
I got to 'low my core to have friends and not become again a head of dunder....

at the nexxus of antiquity and the novel

'stuck' at ny of the stagers, i think I is workring thru the stages just like all of us...
i see how the stages are so accurate now though when i was younger i thought what's up with those stages but yes this is the time for integrity vs despair as we wrassle with the certainty of death instead of just becoming overly self-absorbed as the oars do...

the hugest of many huge lies: get old, do all you was gonna do but puttered off

it wtould be so snice indeedems but in fact one is older and more warned and haibituatted and the halibut don't float back upstreaming

if you was to burst beyond the silent fence

if you was to burst beyond the silent fence
the untamed leash
the restraining barrier of barren grief
WOULDN'T WE FLOWER FLUTTER FLUTE FLOW
into the aisles of longer swans?
O then wouldn't our sleek swags unshy?

@@ members is weird

yes, us @@ members is weird
they got whiskeywhiskered and beeryteared
they cried in their brew
and sobbed in the loo'
and all over their heart 'screwguilt' is smeared

old-shoes-with-holes-in-snow-lack-comfort

rather than Good Deity vs Bad deity, a terrific WWF future event(!)
it is old mind versus new mind
new mind wins(by the way) in the long haul but old mind has us so rut-perfected like old shoes with holes in em that is so comfortable and uncomforting

moscow coup atttemtp vid: do you fear sleep

adorable brown and white cinematoagory and all within its parallel horse and buggy meets pedesterian meets newsboys(ppor guys) meets the horsefreed carriage meets the tram meets the train
and all within are fully dead end
and we alive
and too deadened within

you see
always i wanted but to drink to death and smoke the weeds to obl ivi ion
it weren't no good nohows

the great ones, let us note, never stoop

never stooping
they might be haughty but they wasn't gonna be held back from the healings

the great ones, let us note, never stoop

think of your great ones of music and literature and art and poesy and such

would they stooop



nay nay nay



let us not either stoop

chess without L

i used to play chess but it turns out i'm far too competitive in such thngs and the joie de vivre gets lost in my 'angling for an angle' and all that stuff...
what if non-competitve chess whre folks share with each otter their intent(whoa,dude if you do THAT move, I'm gonna like castle you asap. better put your bishop over here...
about thirty years ago i saw this band DETECTIVE and like the lead singer I THINK he was chairbound and right towards the end of their set someone yelled something rude and he like walked off after that.
anyhow they had a song called "COMPETITION MADE A BIG FOOL OUTTA ME"
it may well have been about someone who loved someone else and lost and actored folly foolish
but to me it (in addition to not being a 'political 'song)
it's about
COMPETITION as a youngster i was a studier but it turned out all fearful mesmerization and scant non-rote thinkering agilities and so rather than wind up emboldened maverick blazer of trails
i wound(woond) up as an alkie and weedo
and so it flowerflows....

he called it sky collogy, the preceders called it poesia

what is needed,
it appears
is the wisdom of freud to see the inevctions of daily strife and the dogs compering one another for the bits of brushbottled dogwood meat
tossed into their pen
as ourselves in some ways
but also to see the zen meisteress
as the outer way leading

no to anxiety, yes to here now moiety

When I get to being anxious or worrying and all that
it seems to recede and all I can view(like that song Everybody's Talking At Me by Nillson) is how life seems so long and pointless.
Ah, but when I am attuned to my babysoul
then
then "I see"
sort of like cosmic peek-a-boo, no?

don't stoppering you are getting unto it

your wisdom is pure
your search is relentless unending
your heart core is unflappabe
your soul source is rooted in tree smarts

not so fast

when truly mellow i even typer sloweder
which ain't not really such a bad ideal
neither cranked up on wearying
nor drunkarded-in on re-sentiment's harshening sedimentary layerings and layovers and carryovers
no need for the citadel

not that i'm out htere or anything

in the groups i go to
with all our plethora of myriad fears falsehoodwinking us about the delusions of boozins and the freedom of weed-'em
we remain abstient, sometimes by having our braindset reamed out by our guides, thank 'em
it's not that i am really any different than others
it is just that i've always FELT distince and so just commonplace stuff like
I don't like myself today
or
I wish my cow-orkers weren't so mindlessly mechanically unloving unbekindling
seems like really 'sposing my innards, y'see

how fake can you be? well, how real dare I?

WEll, I could be just authentic enough to irk folks
or just fake enough to get them to accept me
just courageous enough to get voted out of the club
just cowardly enough to have them say Her? She's alright, I guess, not much to her,though, actually

syncopate?Si. Inventorate? No

it seems
as an alkie,that is
i, or may i assert we?
cannot independently
presented with any format of tabla rasa
create in-and-of-itself.
but
moreso
nevertheless
when granted a drole drudgery to bee-bop and syncopate about
ach! tis then we doth shine...
prollem seems to be
being expertise at overdoing dullard's folly(ala the peterkin principia)
seems to assure that
no
thing
of
value-laden
worth
from
bedlam(past)
wilt henceforward
flowerflow

in feral fretters fear held twas I

In feral Fretters Fear Held twas I
the old stuff was from untrustworthy cohorts
drinking the sauce of poisonings and thinking it was 'deluxury' morosely being our own lynchpin of unhealing a decade of decay folowed and blacked the clouds of our mindscape, cavern assuredly. we drank in darkness, 'most like early gays but straight as we was, the healing was no feeding. we were booted out of sordid assorted sundry sundae bars,relentlsly complainering and grumbling "Just for yelling out: Let's all get drunk and dance dirty?" poelple thought of me as a tautology: utter bum boar.
on the avenue of abuse, where the parochial beaters dressed in perpetual mourning, the sole release was matriculation. plus there were always the Evangeline and stories of El Cid v. the moors. And still my soul marched ploddingly, well unfed. Someone in awe told me: You're missing on first contact, tis with soul to self recirculates. someone told me my art truly sucked and so I beliefed him, right as he might have dustbin. I couldn't see how the rest of them couldn't understand, when I went back to 'carry the word', how much sobriety rocked over drunken notoriety, but they didn't amidst the din of the crashing glasses, the broken faux paws, and the blim blim blim of the daquiri blinder.Plus they really 'dug' the linedancing and the tragic sense of existence somehow truly grooved their corpus delectum

remimbering and unforgettering, the intutitive path to solverizing stuff that hte mindbrain ain't brawnynuffore

a sweet messager and the dustdevils of vacuum land done eatered your poemsong
to me
and the winders did unwindowfy
and we said
ah,that's what the yogurt instructor meant in her sublime evensong
y'know?

FERAFULNESSNEASAWAYOFDEATH

THIS BEING FEARFUL IS JUST SUCH UNDOUBLEGOODNESS

when I was a drunkard, I were not gooo to myself,'eh,ducks?

Spirit healed sores
that the spiders didn't scar
I boosted from stores
that insiders deemed subpar
I looked within
feeling airy, yea, thin
sublime soulcave
sublimecavernsoul

The tenderized grasses
swaying in the pond
Remind me of the glasses
of which I were nigh fond
They corroded my soul
and corralled my sway
caved in soul
carved upon soul

Abandoned car, imploded shards
resembling baby so hurt, in zebra leotards
how could someone kind on my infant self
so unwind
cavernesque soulyard
loch ness fettered soulyardOne fine night, awakened wails
Death had found, the boozer's bales
No more weed
nor wine nor whimpers
Found the white ash glee
Found the white ashtree

spurious superbly bossed boobat

superboss twilling
you are so god
supreme cieling
you are utterly so mod

i know your're healing
and so surrealing
gives me such thrills
and all the while
they drink turnstile
and you says nils

my job, i have made it into a moloch morass tar-traipser

and now i am realizing at last how to get unleashed(have you read that unleashed: poems by 'writer's dogs"? it's awesome, in aprts espeically the longest one about the two dogs that get found in an abandoned house)
from my fears:
stop
lowing my werke to be my god(he-devil of a falsied god)
no more palsy in my steppes now
trafalgar square was cool last wodin's nacht

bulls v bears, publicans v mocrats, A students v dropout flunkers, ying yang cycle

don't please don't take this wrong
but what if the publicans v mocrats
the A student valedictoriains so valored v the dropoutflunkout skool skippers
the bears v bulls of the stocked market
what if all of it is a yin yang that is necessary,even if(as in the horrendous war in Iraq) it is utterly awful and we fight our best to rectify it

please end this war very very soon
it was so unneeded

being sober sucks yes certainly. being drunk is devilishly painful

i'd rather be a bit bummed than utterly inchanined

that there meet today was sublime itself

i mean: folks i've known for decades, undecoyed by booze and iron-on's of fear and feral fretting
the talking of healing
of our former shell-selves
of our need to be remembereded by each other
and the overarching awareness that
neither heat nor frost can toss us from the ship of sobriety
UNLESS we ourselves scrape off our recovery tattoos with a needless spoon of absalom's absynthe(no worm, no berm, dam the perms)

vegables, not boozer bottles

for me being sober not somber means:
not wtipping on stuff
nor being ashamed of being humane

not that i'm saying 'i can heal against their will'wat i am saying is
if you wanna heal
and are opened
why in the world could n't
sobriety
deep breathing
veganism
paganism-0as a way of worshipping tree branchlings
all help the process?

healer? did you call yourself a ((###(C((#(# "HEALER"?)
yes, in fact that's pre-sicily what i said.
after returning from the Grecian Isles, I felt the healing prowess just looking at stuff, the enviro
and so I call myself that
(just as art thou, my fiend)

the black forest is my church

imagine if you had one hundred hectares of black forest shrubland and for a spiritual ceremony everyone on fullmoon traipsed about,sacredly?
that beats most any cathedral

how being in the air in a tiny airship could make a person doubt her own sobriety

viewed this(excellent trower 'in this place' soundtrack after some introductory insights) youtube vid on Haleakala Crater and how , in my interpret, one of the presenters says, to paraphrase, that he was so frightened going up the hill road to the crater that he doubted his own sobriety/nicotine free lifestyle(known as 'no mental defense against that first drink') and i thought: DO I relate to that .
this one time i was walkering to the job, and i espied this can of beer(empty) in the wakway (the strip of lawn between sidewalk and curb/gutter) and thought
Why, that bottle (can actually, see I was impinged and unhinged in part already..) couldn't hurt me at all.
SO when i got to the office, i uncharacterstically awakend a pal(i worked early then)
and told him the good news: a twelve ounce can of beer couldn't hurt me.)
bless him, he told me promptly i was insane, to tell the boss i felt sick and needed the morning off, and he was gonna come pick me up in ten minutes, regardless
and that i was completley off my moorings
which i was
and he gently(about as gently as a protologist)
told me in procession how the cow ate the cabbage
and i awakened from my sleeping beauty applewine trance
unscathed
and awiser
beer never made me any smarter

how-to-rewrite-your-own-life

how to rewirte my ownlife?
well, it would seem i would
go raw foods
lseep more
release and accept others from my circe of circe's hairpainbadday
and just sobernotsomber be

CLIFF KLINGENHAGEN is the poem of my soul's healing

see, i'm an alcoholic
so e.a.robinson knew that us recovering weedeheads andwinoettes mustn't believe in the allureglamour of what for us is like sugar to a chronic diatetic
and that poemsongis sublime

no weed for the steed

fellow who isinto weed wanted to rap but told him look i'm no longer smoking that stuff been quite some time and it was poisonous for me just like booze was
so you know me i don't like to hurt folks' feelings and all but just had to say
NOPE and will figure he'll forget the 'slight' which was not intended but no way am I going to go to some amsterdam weed store and all that
might as well hopper out into the channel, yah

the paintlings grew

and the greed stoppered: whiling no longer on
how come no one loves my art
now its giving it away and smiling like old cliffhanger klingenhagen
much love all the sway,sashay
release the leashered cache,yea yea yea,'eh?

tox screams, incremental paranoiac

had to give a urine tox screen at the employment and woman, it was like it started my paranoia up.i'm like "what if" all aover the place
clean and sober for quite some time now(never long enough, but satisfatory for today,'eh?)
it still frosts and frightens the little girl within
the 'what if they get my screen mixered up with some eles's and it is positive?"
what if the minutiate amnt of opiates in those 'everything on 'em' bagels(poopy seeds,y'see?) gives me a crosss-reactivity and they don't opt to conduct a gas chormotograpy/mass specter on it?

'course, in the end, never heard a thing
whichi is the news i wantered anyhows

it sounded sober to me

after listening to NPR and a song a chum suggested
called
lover, come over
overcome with love
by this song
by jeff buckley
come over O love over come

ouch

ouch well yes you're right listening to the crimsons and their take is free the inner guru
and take your medicine
my medicine?
your medicine is your meetings of other recuperators from drugs and booze

what if your mind is post grad but your job is like pre k

that sounds all she thinks she's so great and maybe i do maybe i don't we all is great but what i really treely mean is:
my boozing ate up my school years so i have this grand mind that could help others(including self) but a job that don't 'low me to use it much

what to do if-you-have =a very highly -developed-mind but your job-don't even utilize it at all

what if you make mountains well out of moleskins?
but would much rather figure ways to be of use,y'know.
and so you are like in this job that is helping and heartening but you know you could do so much more but the fact that all those yesrs of fearful boozing and weeding decade ago now means you won't retour school/
overquailified and yet wanting to be neither a 'prince' nor a 'bum' well secretly a bum sounds mighty fine but the details ain't so precious

sorrow,fivemonths later some sproutings

after sorrow comes silence
after soft silence comes
the sprout
after the pouting comes
the shy sly smile

resentment truly is the triumvirate killer, scientific study concludes

So, the founders of 12 step philosophy had it right, after all
A study read today states that thoughts of resentment render their thinkers(one might say their prisoners?) far more likely to die of heart ailments

One 'searcher attributed these results to what I'll call the triumvirate
smoking(this could include weed, my drug of choice in recovery from, as well as otter dopes)
overdrinking(the british term is so appealing: i'm not no alcholic, i just overdrinks, that's all)
overeating(hoodia seems to help tell the mind "Nah, you're not really all that hungry, let go of the soap and it'll floater away awry)"

inlandseas, fivestar garden('cording to the doveset) jays two, doves too too saddysadsters

I just made a nice dish of zucchini, squash, green onions, soft tofu, some campell's gourmet(low-fat) mushroom soup, assorted spices and some baby carrots all nestling like a trellis upon a micro'd potato. I even restrained myself and ate s l o w l y....
I have these doves, or rather they have lived in these parts for probably ten thousands of years, since the inland sea meant coastal Oregon itself was a state unto itself, and this spring, the branches of this little tree in my tiny garden have been deemed 'fivestar' by two distinct sets of dove parents and each time, I do believe, the jays got to their nests, one after another, in the selfsame precise site. I tried dissuading the first set but it is not easy to be 'mean' to a dove-with-eggs, setting; the second couple I 'lowed myself to believe "Well, maybe this might work this time."
nope, jays two, doves zero.
and then i see mother dove sometimes coming by to 'look for her eggs'....

listening to luckyman by elp and thinking on lifedeathhealing and betweeen

her baby(twenty-five) had her baby(just this week) and except for the slight bit of yellowjundice is just FINE yea
listening and watching an old version of luckyman
it is uncanny because when my sisters and i were driving to my babybrother's funeral
(dam death)
it came on and that was just after Another death song and I shouted
NOT ANOTHER DEATH song

had a friend tell me she never ever ever thinks of death
but don Juan told Carlos to 'low death to be his advisor and always be over his right sholuder
and i , and this ticks off my little sister whom I love but I can't help the fact
I keep hearing my little brother's voice say Mango, stop your frettering 'bout all this or that
Listen to me

so lots of times I do
specially when i drive the street his death

OLDFRIEND sometimes anxious-provoking

OLD friend who is in my coreand wholoves meto
thecore
socomforting
and healingnice

vonnegut, das ist gut, forget her car colorado, and she=mom=god=love=warmth=safetyr

In Vonnegut's book time quake, he talks about how a compulsive gambler will lose it all at the gaming tables and then she or he will beg borrow or rob some more dough and
return to say
"deal me in,mac"
and it reminds me of how when I see a car that reminds me of the car of this lady I used to date and have an unhealthy affection for(meaning, she wasn't really there for me in the way I needed ME to be there for me, if that makes sense) and how, despite throwing in my cars and saying I QUIT
each time I see that color of car my heart jumps a bit
cuz I , completely irrationally, still love that lady
who represents 'my mom'
yet my mom(who died when i was small)
ultimately represents my god
who ultimately(for me) represents the need for love and security....
today at my NA group I was gonna share about all this but instead said "Ill just listen-in today

ach the aching i ching jingjingjing the pongroom is nimmermeer the bongroom

rheymy eyes or non
she didn't mind the facticle that
little babe was just less than thiry thirsty hours into our realm
O let us worship
her
and to heck with warlockers, warships and the score on the wargames

snowsnow glow aggro aglay

to be goo to my friends
how to love them and grow longside them yet not be demanding or controlling to them?
sigh and alas
no small task
the fig and the fox
they shared some locks
the mitt and the mitten
they was both hawking and a spritzing
SNOW SNOW GLOW AGLAY

under-the-snow-plantlings-are-safer

heathre above but the snow like huskies kept the plantlings potatofrost safe

as wise as thee to let my tears rainforest flowerfall, they falterhalter in my babysoul and my heartrack keeps them from otter flowing

as wise as thee to let my tears rainforest flowerfall, they falterhalter in my babysoul and my heartrack keeps them from otter flowing

us addicts and alkies alike, we don't have to be converted just babysatted lottilots

they were the niciest folx i could tell but dangnapperit
id was not loosing floorward

that is when the religionists came stroppering to my door this maori morning
my anzac instincts said do not opener the doo
and yes it was just folk trying to get me to belief in what they sadly do not themselves fully belief because my beleifs in abstinence from the sauce the brew the wino and the winette it hurted me
but this preachering they don't have the ummmph that the meetings of addicts does
(forme)

how can a woman-eat-more-slowly, that is my lifelongquestion shun me not for it,plea?

yyes really though howw do i eat slower?
in advance i always know how to do it but when the food-is-in-my-face(Unless there are normies around)litttle starvelinggirl comes out and it is eat eaat eaaat you trying to starve us up there,grown grannygoofball?
it cannot in factor be good for me to eat like that
though i stay reasonably 'slender' i don't feel it and all the backup and just being crammered each night
help?

'member,for every person who loves ourart there is someonwho wants to demolishify it

'member,for every person who loves ourart there is someonwho wants to demolishify it
and each demolishifrier actually more freeens you cuz you can start the gaddabouting for the onewho wantsto raiseyou onhigh

this fillers a requiremeint

to be as solid as a tree and almost (in the classic catholic sense) as unneeding to move
ah the corn in their rows cross the way
have no need to traipse about so
only wanteringto remain wthin their ranks
and not at tall like poor animals
who doth yearn for their herd ways

schnailes, eat not the quickening vines, chomp on the pile of (went quiet) the composte heap, disfrutas

isn't it just wondrous out there?
had to gather the snails and place them(with gloves on, of course!) atop the leavepile so they could eat the dead leaves and leave the new vines alone

soapy slathered fears can't be traipsed inthe tuba of the soulstice

soright on with the forgetting of fears
you know i think i am just too dang good at 'holding on' to worries whereas others are either lazier(i mean that in a good way!) or just let it fall away
so i can be this way more today
Happy aprilfirst

eine steiney the babymind ISthe sicenece mind said somethng like thinking is too slow

to tripon stuf is like slogging thru a storm to deliver a postal(actually, he is the thinker but these are mine own methaporisms) ratjer tjam emailinering
so if i must be 'secure' im my thoughts i can be lowlybound
but if i can BE PREVERBAL LIKE A BABY the babymindIS the sicenitest mind

schtuff like that can realy muss with my emotional hair

stuff like that can really mess with my head
(sometimes it don't take much to mess with my mind, I fret too readily)
but i have been getting better at following my 'own' 'rule'
of
think once and then trust
please do NOT think i am 'giving you advice'
NO WAY!
what i am doing is remindering myself of this new to my practice concept tool of how to remind myself "that worrying stuff worsens not betters situations; if you though once already
let it glow

May your situation with where you will be solved in the most mellow of manners today or soon

I liked how it said, as I recall, that each role has its other roles towards which one must gravitate and flow; how the leader so proud and huffy must

I liked how it said, as I recall, that each role has its other roles towards which one must gravitate and flow; how the leader so proud and huffy must learn to follow; the brave to become more reticent; the fearful to become more emoboldened.
though I'm not sure about the specifics of the enneagram I like this ideal and am deeply peering into it for my own life
for example always let it ramble roll with me anytime you choose or wish to, i think you're sublime in your way with words

at the university, colleagues say, i'm superbly outglowing but off campus I can be shy and almost stand-offish, even though my heart flowerflows the other way;
i've even remarked about this polarity.

my heart is very open(moreso,moreso) and yet sometimes folks perceive me as 'a brain' or
'a thinker'(me?) and i would so much prefer they say "Her? Oh, she's a real sweetheart,that one is. Playful,too...."
for this realization
that my artifice boundaries betwixt the office and the sofa are just that: artificial
Hugs your way on this sundae April no fooling

one more such vitory

one more such vitory
show off your skillets
the gathering of the snsails
and how they didn't crossoer but were gatherrroooed into squarms and like a mortar they maddened era starry painterling
winking only at one's elf
in the mir cube
far from thee no body is going to read into it more than was there
and he said to her we aren't discerning what you cannot seethe prepoccessing
and within perhaps half hte weak
the fuel moan
we calm undune
we has always(riggedly) this sway(done it) reletnlessly and togood(somtimes) finality of results(sorda)
hasyou everbeen decoyed by the world intobecoming one of the voices for sanity rather than sanitizing and begotten at the curx and beenseventy and sixtyand gotten jelled at for being one of thirtyand three?
i has,you seethe , and i cannot knowingly teller you: it hurts, but does not harm.
get crusty to it,see,and the stationmeister (especially here in the former 'easterren bloquce) cannnot 'hello charlise' you kind of swing.
no fische this here fiertag only the dulse and the plsu-perfait

this fear i'm running from it's actually the past mystery(enormously sad at death of the papa at aged four.two)

this fear i'm running from
must not let it whine me
it's just death i'm shunning, hum
a little song of why me?

if i fret and cannot calm(no!)
then it's a safe pet i'm bombed(Whoa!)
if i'm worrying hurry n' tell me:
stop it boy, set your roosters on Wheeee!

my echolasts for miles,people are tickerting me with their wordsmarts

for the money, i show up and for the healing i help otters

scrimped crumpets impasse remploserion

scrimped crumpets
impulsive implosion
flamboyance lampooner
cocooned and crocheted
concoct and half-cuckoo
sooner stone
oxbows avowed
stopover bonobo
rhomboid hobby
gazeboes by kazoos
poolroom woodshorn
crowfoots zoophobia
capstone and jawbone
panned and panes
axiomatic maxims
aeroembolism of oboes
camp scraps
surpass spray
broomcorn photocopy
ozonosphere,Oops!
pooch on a pogo-stick
stopgap hoopla
airside plum
poesy pooled
plopped aplomb
myopia down to the molars
sallow realm
laser later
rattail rentals
leaner of the lantern
antennal retina
zanier anointer
pretensions creation
moister loiterer
retractile eyestalks
terrestrial lariats
sacral tiara
adroit and adrift
fiords on tirade
redbait diarist
spiraled and many-tiered
decrepit Demagogue
reprogrammed egghead
debagged and defogged
beggared egghead
debagged deluge
beguiled and segued
deluged drudges
endured and secured
drupes,with their adherences
skewered and suckered
defocus the eyecups
sprucely,pounce
teacup techno
bounciest and most conceited
reticence's denizen
unfeigned and underpinned
bemired and ensnared
detrains after the errands
dungarees snoring
omicrons,citrons and gibbons
snobbism and snubbing
omnibus sunburns
numbness and numinous
spumonis unmourned
delirium thereupon
inoperative operettas
shatterproof and spattered
deathtrap ariettas
spatter and scatter
retraces,then reattaches

in a thicket creamer witchpie spyder pockets, who moved, you or gutenberger's cafe(warring)

myself i cannot thickset responderfy how you could tide o'er the limpest limonade modules

that is to sashay: how you did ramble,boo
o grab me spiderbi

wash your ears; unspice the heron; nicht mehr to the canadian winnepeg wheelchar

how you do dat ting
why you tries to be an unhealered heel?

why not get your holiness from helpering rather than rasping and rectoring?

dint mean to guilt you or glutton you actually just to savviour your lif

the dirge of the drugs and your smokeringchokling scarscarifiies me plea:stopper

sent when in fact i meant to hit the enter(nextline) button

is that a life story or is that a habit or is that like int he cours in miraclous tht the roles of sender and receiver or skipper are the same?

and being busy and doing sublime art don't actually link to
hauling in the moolah,doolah

obey all the laws but become an outlaw to the realm of phsyics insofar as it insists we must age so horribly

don't 'low physics to make us oldsters before our timestars
we got sharings not charrings for the wihlings
and no i DON"T need xyz fromteh abc store
even when i most thinker i do dew due

she peaceable a lady lover treed

the freedmans greens helped
but hte greensward of manydropped waterhealerings ya, Dass ist GUT

she wars a lady lover treed

she was a lady love trees
she had grandest childs loved to laugh
but she had so many ovicers advisering her to be megafearful
seriously
she plyed her playing
and all the layerings came a tumultuous tumtable retumbling
and
for brief interregnums betwixt thish ere fear and dot
she
was
peaceable
all them hugs helped her too

cuz the lice of lies are so thickly parching
but hte greensward of manydropped waterhealerings ya, Dass ist GUT

donkeychains=danke schoen

as a lass, songs of danke schoen as donkeychains
and thanks as thanks,spankydanks
and loving playering with words

untilted

after me mum passed there
miami beach was a scaredy spot
even the a.c. when it come on in the room and froze me after ths pooling about
and the fear of sharks ever omni
ach and she up in haven
watchering down and wanting me to be good
and me good
but me not thinking she beliefed in me
so i learntmyself not to belief in her

by the laws of physices we are at the bottom of miles of atmos speared

by the laws of physics we are at the bottom of miles of atmosphere
go high enough
feel lighter
no drugs or bugs needed
now my mind don't reallize but like old parchments that have been reminded and reflindered and patchpatchpatchered
there are so many layterings in my mindsouls
and so even just picking my nose gives me five kinds of guilt
so
pickless in Tuscaloosa
yet i can walk cross the loom and seehte and note and heal heresy now chocoloottoo

THE MOUNT AIN'T THAT GRAND ITS THE VIEW PEEPS

within the tiny gatten so muchos de pajeros flutterlflutering about
miene trees, les arberes are ardently growthing in the autral asiatic sonne schein
finey

uncanny the realization and the desire that AFTERTHIS, WEMUST CHANGE

WANTERINGit to be truthed that after this, after wakerening and 'lizing that SAY DUDETTE, you is at the bottom of a miles of pressure and you are getting constant massagers from all the tunestations and yet you thinkyou is waltzing in the atmos like open the pod bay
nopers, shirk and shake as you might
it is read only mesmery so
So all the way to yo you youcan
toucana
here's the klew
off the kerb
fire the tyre
stay sobrecleancentred
nope to allkie's scrawl scalding haul
and in gasps of say walker cross the room
listen in
listz zen inn

swinking this morning of how e can not notice we are at the bottom of a huge many miled atmos sphere

swinking this morning of how e can not notice we are at the bottom of a huge many miled atmos sphere
and also that the thoughts swarm so that just like the city moose we realize not how much of a muchness of agit-prop and radio unfree mindfret is read only mesmerizey and keepers us respondingto infernal stimulae rather than reruddering and detourning into the heresynowsey
joust for this here breath
lest us be freed