meditations on a foggy oceanic-sidling cat scratching at the knob eventide

yes despite the evils of this world
must acclimate adjust and help prompt the healeringsings
with sober lust for kindliness

meditations on a foggy oceanic-sidling cat scratching at the knob eventide

yes despite the evils of this world
must acclimate adjust and help prompt the healeringsings
with sober lust for kindliness

late if i wanna be

such a sweet meet this morn
but this one young gal in her thirties irks me
talking about tardiness
so i left without the afterwards group hugs
cuz it was like she was talking to me
i am the world's most gottabecompulsiveearliybird at the orffice
so on my own time i'm like late if i wanna be

manifold paths homebound

i grow sad when souls insist on the oneway approach and instead have +
chipped toast jesus will get you belief mind
so are so many other spiritual pathways, we 'arrive spiritually' at a 'destination' and then proceed to nourish and nurture and mosey on along.

i do belief in art but my feral fearful ferocity belies and belittles such claims

i do belief in art but my feral fearful ferocity belies and belittles such claims

thin times, remember also simone weil at all times

back when i was a practicing alcoholic
unlike now when i seek never to set=-uip-shop against myself again
i met this esquimeaux fella and he would crack the cheapened bottle of wine but always always would fill the cap with the then precious mind-numbing fluid and potion an apportionment
'for the spirits'

i considered a rude waste of vital vino

just reading in jerry w. wrights thin places and thin times
about the veil 'twixt the world seen and the faerie realm
how the cattlemilkers would 'low a squirt or three to plop to the ground from their family beast
same rationale

differing places
simular aces

ever noteice how like madame curie or bejamin with his kite in the electron storm

you ever notice that, as a aformer artiste
when one delves into some of these devilishly perennial art problems
such as how to portray the sufferings so abounding without
causing the viewer to want to instantaneously self-destruct nor plunge into some dada-istic nihilism?
that is
thinkingabout the vile and evile stuff ongoing each moment
the starving infants
the starving elders
the beaten slaves of today
the myriad souls without medical care
critters beyond imagination who live each morning in fear of having been gobbled up ferociously during the eventide of blood and bones and winged vengeance just ending
of the oceanic plummets, wherewithin each critter either evades or seeks to intake each other, species contra species
the list of heartless ongoings is 'pert near without end

and yet
to be an artist
and plunge into the maelstrom mindless storm of
what is
and portray with such a way that
courage
the urge to help one another rather than turn one's face
altruism
and mutual acceptance
and
gasp-
tolerance
is it not nearly too much to ask of any one soul that she
strive to rent asunder such cloven hedges and peer and peak and bring it on back home, so her percievers, her purveyors, her viewers (who approach, it is to be noted, her artwork as a follower of the dominant religions might a sacred scarred shrine or a ritual stations of the way,)
so these selfsame few, who have turned from religious trite and contrite to deepset genuine authentic spirituality
and seen past drugs
and gone beyond the money bag
and power is not their heroinsong
so that these souls may awaken but having awakened have the healing guidance of the artist's hands to reassure and assert
healing's hopping in, hon
just holster on there,'kay?

krishnamurti

have you heard krishnamurti hold forth on' the sport'?
not, of course, the gridiron war-games
nay
the sport, he proclaims, is that one flower of five and twenty thousands which
dares be unique
an outlier
a flier
and
the mendelev in each of us(and the grigor mendel as well)
finds its fascination, non faux, therewithin

how to help them awarify

of flies and leafs
i help as a therapist
newly recovering alcoholics and addicts to
look, with one eye shuttered,
deeplier into their attica attics above
and into their future death depths below so bellowing
and yet in the present precisely to remain undivided
zero remainders

was i more aware and wary wouldn't have these ouchies

the knee the neck the wrist all ouch from my poor past choices oh yes and thata kicking the can that turned out to be a piece of stolid stellar droopings

gotta start noticing my lifeways afore they ouchify me

gloomy overcast foggy hilly chilly windy blustery: so fine it all is, whyc douln't the houstoinian aria air be btrer so i could padre isle enjoy,'eh?

yes, blustery sindy windy chilly oercast all of it
if only i could enjoy it more without using the vaporier dealie due to the gunky air,sigh

afater seeing that kind of a moon, one must never art the same

how can one's arat not go beyond lab rat or whack a mole
slurping low fat guacamole in the east side of manchester
it might be 1000 pounds per euro year and yet
the yes campaing with picallilly suace on its healing sandwitch
yes ther is how it must ee all new

in third grade stuff was tossed out the window

in third grade
mrs boyer was an alcholic lay teacher
she used to tell me to throw (the word) STUFF out the window
one day she came to school and her slip was like totally showing on her bony-ass legs
and i kindly told her
and she hated me ever after
but she gave me student of the year pin
what to make of such a melange

the kryptonite metaphor, though I'm much more kentish than a son of Jo-El e'er would 'fess unto

I sometimes describe the mutual alcoholism of my clients and myself insofar that any bit of it is harmful(for me, not for anyone whose relationship to alcohol is normal; I'm not a diabetic, but I also digress into that metaphor as well, that I myself CAN handle a brownie or even two, but I believe a diabetic couldn't...)

my latest reads : origins of comix and the originations of life

Latest book I've been reading was one on the origins of comic books, oddly enough. Recently been reading about the actual geophysothermal beginnings of life from a sort of organic chemistry perspective and I like how (in the complexity theory model) stuff just sort of(over eons beyond my imagining) builds up one layer at a timeit's as if life was SO ready to burst out, sort of Teilhardianly,y'know?

trust the inner elf and don't be fearflea feral fettered

and don't low the buggerwugges to heap fear pon you in the most feral way
cuz it ain't deserired

yep, she's one of us, so sit down, have a cup of strong coffee,sister, and listen up real good now,'kay?

when it comes to talking-on-the-phone to someone i've never met and just 'met' over the 'net, I am sorta fully stuck back in the last century, or perhaps its predecessor, since I like to get to be friends first over the keyboard and its 26 to the 26th powered empowerings.
Quirky, I 'fess, but we all have our ways, 'eh?


not long back(with a detour to purchase chow) from a cantankerous post-holiday let it all hang out session,and methinks that since that potent sauce no longer, day following another, bastes our goose, we recreate in miniature( an anthro teacher shared that in any subset of recoering people one could find the same views as in the fuller world, only more polarized,)to just let the world-in-micros found within the many-tabled rooms, replete with the world's mulchiest and possibly worst coffee, where even the decaf could make a sailor pray, become the therapy room and let-it-all-hang-out and just share ad nauseum, but oddly I fit in ever so well. And for me it beats my past of sitting on bar stools looking for that befriending which, since I didn't like myself, wasn't gonna hop in.

saw that vid on youtube about the chacmools of CC of dJ

Here is the 'rule-of-thumb' I seek to apply to my days off:
be with grand friends at the meets and
forgo thoughts of the office and my clientele
(they can find their own baba of wawa to drink in my abscence, I just know they can.)
there are times, one must 'fess I do worry about my clientsele, though it ought to be
'get-a-life' when I waderlessly wade into those mulch- and- muck mindstreams,
I'm not the kind to jot with a poisoned plume.
This one friend of mine, now a former friend, truly scarred my emotions today, superficially,tis true. I bespoke my large sadness over the vile evil upwhirling in the former Bombay and the response was
You're not god(nor God), stop troubling yourself, get off the cross, we need the wood, and such. Also, in a don juanian "I-never-think-about-stuff-I -don't-like' denialist way(i adore dJ but some of his utterances per CC are just so not even)" and I myself believe there is SOO much we can 'do about it'
Every words spoken by my now former friend were in Americanized English(Long Live The Nacirema, that backwards glancing clan, replete with their potlaches and latching onto barge-in bargains)
yet the sentiments were alien in the most fulsom mannerism.

we oughta be able to figure out a way not to need to have to work for a living and help society everso much moreso

that would the ideal be
to use this mind not for alcoholic fearful fetter fretting
but to figure a way to be both more utile to socialiety
and also to make a living more respectably than 'oaring and boaring,y'know?

don't much matter long as i am calmycalmstaars

qai head for my tubbing scrubbing and who-knows-really =which of my myriad books to peruse like a submariner on the surface of the moon's mountainranges
which book i shall read

digressions on Doc Dyer

For me, getting up an hour early to listen to the CD where he talks about the variations on Om in the different religions of the world and also where he gets really intense about opening up, was truly helpful to me. I 'fess that I had to have the surgery anyhow, but my responses were so much less and my healing was swift. I do believe IF I had gone to that belief system earlier, I would have been alleviated of the ailment entirely but i had let it go on too long, y'know?I also must say that, for example, when my mom died when I was five,there is no way now or then,especially, I could have seen no woe.I am sure that from the 'right frame of mind', one might have that perception, but I am so far from that collosally celestial and ego-unbound mindset and soul-walk, that there is no way I can claim that perch..My biggest question nowadays is How can we use our minds the same way we use medications, since medications just tell our minds what to tell our bodies to do...I believe in this and yet have not moved very far at all along that perch

to learn from my own false takes

to learn from my own stakes
when the possum tangled with the pooch
the pooch always lost
when i mussed with perfectionism i always had to wind up drinking sleet soda

iother kids didn't Really believe that god stuff with all the devils out to get you but
in my home
they were practially
fiends of the family
and were postered all over the wall much bigger than wrestler's gooseyes

the glut of guilt for staying home neath the quilt

when i restume my dutues tomorrow i do not need to go
oh my stars ieghty phone calls to answer
nope
most all of it can be chalked up to already tookend care of(accurately and aptly)
and the meanness of the cows orkers well expecct it they is self centered to an degeree that would be digireedoo healthy for myelf me ooh to attain obtain untol, see
i never call in sick
that in itself should say something about my perfectionishm and astoundishingly slavish minddust

nevertheless
today i am not fully ready nor abel to resume my duties most dutifully
and in my mind am 'ready twipping on specifics of clients et al
now that in its shelf is unhealy
so it is mandatatoratory that to averse purge a tory i
realize the hellishness that my mind puschts me into
that is:
i must get all this right
none must have anything to criticialize me for
i mustn't make a boo,boo
and i cannot bend but must meet all criteriaon
(i am not talking about unethical or anything of that naturum at all, i am talking about
my own much higher standarts and how i can keep those but more relaxedly
I HAVE BEEN TAKING THIS JOB STUFF WAY TOO SERIOUSLSIILY
and need to get a leaf(not weed but make like a tree and leave it behind)
i can't resume after being ill for a couple weeks to cupola back in and canalize my mindsoulbabygoodness back into a squishydwishy of
i must make up for lost time
you cannot make up for 'lost time' temps perdu
and so stopper going about search and researching for them
and also being ill ain't no crime,clime

as over the grape stalks i trapezoid traipsed

as i walked i noted
my biking boots left big grapplehooks of tender mounds of leftovers

there were so myriad a passersby yet not but twice did I pull away from my focus

there were a few shouted Hey you with the bloomers, wassup?
but i was focusered on my archeoplyx multipfindingish

i was the miles standish of the now

i retrieved a bit of brokered off recoiled rustworthy truckspring
(aching to be entered unchanged and untrampled into an unresisting piece
and i noted peculiarly twisted bits of grapecurlings
which had swung so glibly from the overarching wired-upon

i saw shards of bottled thickness
which would not splattershat unless they were hammerfired

and to think of the bottlecaps themselves
so pristine on one side
so replete with muckingmulch on their netherrealms

there were wood splurts that were unbenumbing in their agility to aha and wakify the open-toed mind-sandal-soul
IF ONLY ONE WOULD IGNORE THE IGNOMINIOUS BEETS AND GALOOTS AND THEIR whatthehadesmerceymeiswrongwithyou,there,dumbdum?

one can
one can]
one did
of a once

cuz i am not abel to be there and not cough my fool head on

i am gonna call in sick tomorrow i am NOT up to three groups;lectures etc
to hell with guilt and its glut-quilt

cuz i am not abel to be there and not cough my fool head on

i am gonna call in sick tomorrow i am NOT up to three groups;lectures etc
to hell with guilt and its glut-quilt

i cherish this hindu chakra way of viewing life

viewing on the 'tube(U) some vids on the chakras and realizing how close to my own experience this spiritual path is to my own viewpoint from my life so far...
not that i am of that persuasion as a faith system but i like that it matches so much better than the one i was coerced into, to the truths of this here universe of ours.

feeling more? good

emotionally awakened
sad thing about getting aware is we feel our pain more But
we can move through genuine grief and not be mucked back

i plan to heal and return to being hale and my alkie peerage is the reason why

my crazoid skalkyhaulic mindbrain was twippering 'bout my having really yucko coughing and such and i stormed into that doc's offices ready to DEMAND antibiotics and she gave me an inhaler treatment and that tamed me right up and then she gave me some nose spray and some allergy otc and some benadryl otc and told me to sorta rub my chest with vapor stuff and also so now, oddly, i am when i feel like coughing putting a hand on my chest and one on my gut and i cough less plus i sorta stroke my throat very gently like one would comfort a 'sturbed friend
and so with all that
i'm turning it and not gonna stay sick and tonight i plan on sleeping truly swell

it crackered 'em up that in 'allergies?' i told them one antibiotic i can't hack(it makes me itch all aover) and one other antibiotic that makes my throat feel like i've been guzzling hotsauce)
and also added "Oh, I'm an alkie: nothin' with the sauce in it."

now for a cat, with her innate consciousness, to enjoy hunting, it makes sense, even when they are stuffed

these here cats o' mine
they are fatso's and also overeaters notorious
and yet
with the rainwaters flooding the groundswell
and causing the terrified mice to act out their last choice
akin to one from a burning building's
do i get smashed on the ground or asphyxiated in my rooms?

their choice: i smell cat, wet cat,
do i dare exit my domain
or may i stay here and drown
and unlike the dormice in the caucus race
they cannot much swim and no naught of its wiles
so they scurry without
and are pounced and pumice by the fatcats
who eat only heads and shoulders and leave the remainders for
well
el jardinero y yo
to pick up and toss
'course i don latex for such a soiled task
and feel sad that fellow vegans are privy to such beastly dilemmas in this here life

so needlessly she went back out and gained the doorstoop nary again

I affirm that tis corrrect how much i have need for healing and helping others heal

I love being mellow calm as a clam and sober hipster

at one and teh same i enjoy being enthused and directive

i do believe in meanings

if someone is suffering and wants their sobriety back
i wanna be of assist

i grow so saddened and addled when sisters and brothers go back out again to use booze and sink into the dirge of the drug scourge

it is like our minds are not wound fully and leaving that opening the chill gets in and we grow ill, psychically unwell
from the upwelling of madness that is relapse

it is horrendous to me to hear tales of exploration back into the realm of auto-poisoning

such a hideous banshee that wail is

some how the mind is muddied by the hoe of the hootch

and our over-concern about something minor gives sway to self mutation back into the unloveable one

so needlessly she went back out and gained the doorstoop nary again

I affirm that tis corrrect how much i have need for healing and helping others heal

I love being mellow calm as a clam and sober hipster

at one and teh same i enjoy being enthused and directive

i do believe in meanings

if someone is suffering and wants their sobriety back
i wanna be of assist

i grow so saddened and addled when sisters and brothers go back out again to use booze and sink into the dirge of the drug scourge

it is like our minds are not wound fully and leaving that opening the chill gets in and we grow ill, psychically unwell
from the upwelling of madness that is relapse

it is horrendous to me to hear tales of exploration back into the realm of auto-poisoning

such a hideous banshee that wail is

some how the mind is muddied by the hoe of the hootch

and our over-concern about something minor gives sway to self mutation back into the unloveable one

these books on the evolving of life from non life in the primordial sluggish soup

the spirit realm is for our spirits
the biosphere is for biotics
so when reading books which desribe how polymers got togehter i like to think of it like the beatles
first j met p
and they also connect with G and then the guy who they used his garage and kicked him out and then the guy who died and then ringo or was it another but the point is
like when the guy who inventeored whip creme wasn't trying to make whip creme
and the folks who invnetned peanut and jelly probably meant something else too
(a f riends' step dad made me eat a peanutbutter and butte r sandwhich as a lad and i most puked, truly)
so if folks could just let the spiritual which is not emobided and the phsycial which is its own realm
not be either or about it
sure life arose from chemicals playing about and having a leap forged
so what
that don't mean they c an't beelive in the spirit life,seething,ses

but you know me i had to smush it down in two gulps amost chokering myself but i loves sugar too much so i eat none in recovery,narly

i did so good with no sugar playing the ignoramus to chip cookies, syhining on dognuts and twisties
and then a young fellow just marches up and thrusts a cupcake into my hand and in a gulpo or two(it probably tasted good, i do seem to recollect)
it was done deed and the cake was eaten

ways to heal

including just slowing down and breathing

how doth all these little thinkies intermingly

just back from my walk
my mind is buzzardly busy
and so i just enjoyed noticing stuff
like
there are a whole lotta whispy little white insects floating around
and a myriad of caterpillars slinkying about

wanting the more and settling in to the last common ancestor

picking such healing strong familiar
and just listenering to Yes doing a concert a la francais 31 yrs ago
they are wearing shirts which say
NO on them
and they are tuning up to the strains piped in of Star vinski's
the rite of spring
(i like the french le sacre du printemps b etter

also thinking of le petite madeliene and le grand proust
and his room of corked wood

of late
talking to an elder
and how i listenered in with mind and soul
and somehow
kept my correcting device mechano hushed and shushed whilst she spoke
hers was what some might call le petit bourgeiosificationed view
of
being gratitude
feeling blessed
doing something fun everyday
zero grand schemata for a new way to be a part of humanness
just thinking of what to have for her chowder et al

though i couldn't agree less
i couldn
t disagree at all

we must, or we won't; we needn't, if we don't want to be needled

we must freedom our selves with our artlings
we must away-from the 'oar domes and the scarrings

up and avast
theirs is western in our spaghetti
theirs is healer songstarling in our awakeningificationarying

we must moisten our cores with the herbal ginger, wryly glistening
and we must awe ourselves with the non listening


how came we to be holstered and upholstered by the fearmunchers?
within they settle like sooners on the hoary plains
and within a blossom's frail 'twixt glass lifeplate
like a scraping unto the biologist's thickset pyrex paddles

we knew the wholeness of going way beyong all rage
unto a turmoil-lacking fulsome core-resurrection sashay,yea

being old? it ruckles

all of us are going to be so old sometime somedayit must be very rough to have the 'parts' of one's very own and only body to start coming apart at the joints on one...

babybirdling, the eggsky is a falsehood

babybird you are within the egg
and O, tis gloomy therewithin

you peck and you scrabble and yet
the innards insist
Pull the bits of roofegg back
don't let them go a tumble

we'll be roofless and vulnerable

no above all else
we mustn't break through this dullard's brownsky diameter

o but babybirdling
do Oh Do breakthrough

it's harsh out here at times
but surely
this is the place for flying,ye?

babybirdling, the eggsky is a falsehood

babybird you are within the egg
and O, tis gloomy therewithin

you peck and you scrabble and yet
the innards insist
Pull the bits of roofegg back
don't let them go a tumble

we'll be roofless and vulnerable

no above all else
we mustn't break through this dullard's brownsky diameter

o but babybirdling
do Oh Do breakthrough

it's harsh out here at times
but surely
this is the place for flying,ye?

two moons

two moons
the incomplete one above
the (globelight) moon-shadowing one in theneighbor's window
not zen

taking friends to the mountains of my mind

watching the late his emminence nusrat ali fateh khan whilst listening to Eno himself

i like how the two somehow intertwine

the jerkenheimer muckled up my daisydae,nay

the jerk
at work
smears the smirk
from your smock
and so the flock
has to go around so cocky
and all tickytocky
and do their inane jabberwocky

awoke thinking wish i was dead but

truths are: not really wishing was dead just wanting to be differenenter than i am
not a weary wart and all
just released and tall

mpt omtp competion but my team got whup agin

comppetion sucks
just ask me
my team got their bums handed to them by the bums
and also my candidate he did okay in the debate but that sad sad lady held her own

how to tell if enlgishe is not the oginiral tongs

to temper can mean to soften something
it can also mean to harden it
tell THAT to a foreign=language speaker
p.s. the sign of a foreginer(ain't we all?)
is the pouncing upon that selfsame word
for
ignore

chomnping own toenails a lunch do not make

still small a great friend(and later betaryer) made up with myself a little poetry about
dinosaur's heelskin and toenails

dragon paddle ragu or

dragon paddle soup

customize

customerize

costumer it

reconsumer

corsnider

cairn 'sider

ideal for an art piece

recipe for an artpiece

take one trashbin(sm)
layer it over in wrappings(prefferably old like the shrift shope)

take on larger mulched dustbin
place the wrapped within lightly jutting out
like rudder on a ship

and painted first the aforesaid trashcan with spay crans

make the dustbin talk

seeing past the disapproval(we'll never obtain their approbation)

either thier approval has a hook in it
or it ain't gonna hop in
if we can see their disagreeableness 'bouit our takes on art, healing,musicology,poemsongs et tall
like as if they was shades shadows or action figureines
and not mistreat nor maltreaty them just go past all their
maleficorum malefactoriatotuems

what i'm sayijng is this:
folks pinions can holster us if we 'low 'em too
if we can sashay suround their lassos
our own healings can emitter emerg

the falsie boundaries, see beyonder

to see beyond the falsified boundaries
ethnic colourixzifcation religiousity et al
and to respect utterly the rigorously correct boudnaries
personal dignity/care-of-the soulstice/awarenes of the other's innermoist hurtings

today is internatilnal to hades with fake shyness (no shysters, however) dae

ajnd to become the healer is to take no as not a biggie dealie

this here is the strongest god we has, AND it is on sale(this week alone)

can we jupiter jump leaplepton out of this hoars and boars realm?
cuz it really sucks
and we ain't got the bucks
so can we low old carlgustav's strongest of god's at the helm?

this here is the strongest god we has, AND it is on sale(this week alone)

can we jupiter jump leaplepton out of this hoars and boars realm?
cuz it really sucks
and we ain't got the bucks
so can we low old carlgustav's strongest of god's at the helm?

sad cuz it is so WHY?

I had merely been nodding my head with a "Howdy" to my flatmates cross the way since they moved in...
and the lad, a big scrapper,him,what

took me aside today with the rejoinder

Listen, Friend(this was a stretch for him, even with his arm round me shoulder,there)
You are neither family nor of our ethnicicity: we arrived here from far far and you don't even go to our church nor work with any of us

Plea: don't say hello to us

It is not that we are again you
we don't care,period, 'bout you,'kay? no 'fense meant

IF YOU WIN THE LOTTERY OR DIVE OFF THE TALLEST MONUMENT
to us it is so however you saying it? Whatever

Have a nice day now(he actually did say that penulitmate line)

I was like 'Fine, Okay then, sure'
but inside the insecurity buttons(which a certain veep candidate lacks more than most)
were all going off as if the team local had won euro cup And it was a nucleated testing date, as swell

the moon glow arose, over and over

bikering high in the alpine meadows
the moon glow resurrected itself
arising o'er and o'er

would that my mind would the selfsame thing
do

the moon glow arose, over and over

bikering high in the alpine meadows

the moon glow resurrected itself

arising o'er and o'er

would that my mind would the selfsame thing

do

johne was deep , yet paul was sweetness

Palul MCChad sweetness
Johann LLL had deepness
yet he was unhealed healer

death is a combing`

sigh, we all must face death some time but hopefully we'll both just way way way in the future just blink out like a lightbulb that don't work no more,y'know?

friend's friend gravely ill

friend being so gravely ill...
how awful it must be to feel that badly
when we ourselves grow old
let's be healthy
right up till the last momento,'eh

i don't wanna go to w tommorrow i wann remain a 'cationing bum

doublemessagering can drive a body nuts
even when it is a reflection of the beloved's own stuff so i can totally relate
plus
i myself give myself doublemessages all the time anyhow
(i'll just have one of those brownies, and will most assuredly NOT eat all 'leven of 'em for a postmeal snakc)
and the other message
Wow, i'm just gonna eat till i'm full...
thinking how whilst listening to gil frondal's mediation on the zencast website on Doubt
and it is helpful and healing
and staying away from sports
p.s. seems like on the 'lection: we trusted our guy and he was our sensation rockstar
now 'they' have 'their own' and the shimmer may not wear off 'fore the day of reckoning dang it

pushin' too severely on myself, but that has been my lifeleaf patter wren

as a youth, always troubled by must do more must flutter highlier
and never expressing that joy which is my rebirth right...
so lotus pleasured to have to NOT go to the dentalist today...even hygenical hijinks trip me out
but i was able to pull away from tension into deliberated laxation

ironically in what the bleep the polish wedding scene

sorely reminiscent of my own first real drunk(well maybe my second?)
at this polish wedding i was afeared of course to interact and then after having some screwdrivers just asked folks to danc with me
friend's father asked him to ask me w as I okay?
well i biked home and thought(i was sixteen) wow i danced i danced

ironically in what the bleep the polish wedding scene

sorely reminiscent of my own first real drunk(well maybe my second?)

at this polish wedding i was afeared of course to interact and then after having some screwdrivers just asked folks to danc with me

friend's father asked him to ask me w as I okay?

well i biked home and thought(i was sixteen) wow i danced i danced

smiling as i remember

smiling as i remember
them healinering sharings we shared lastterday
how us was interminably attuned
didn't mind wrong directions (leastaways, long as we was traffic cone safe)
and how we went the easiest of ways
buffeted by those whose opines was the opposite of our own, who pine for them what we feels is in no wise weiss enough to become our obermeisters
and that ole devilish daniel johonston and his bovine bleaterings
if only he himself hadn't grown to reassemble one so deeply
and those lucky stars of which he swqueaks?
alas, i thinketh the knotteth not one iota of luckstream
I just SORELY gladiola gladdy glads to be lazarus lipleap lazaoid today
no w for two more
and then back into the mechano
but this time, one beliefs, with a deatchement from the attache,yea?

william johnston(and ususally i'm not one for priests) and his zen affiliations

there is a small pamphlet ohw to be happy
and it was sold at the bookstore for our meets
and it was one fourth the dollar
and it told of 'lowing the dervishes to just whirl
and confomring our own will to the will of what is
what a willostheisper that has been in my morning vespers

hwealing is hoppering in

just not at the pace that in this here lifetime will 'low me to ooh and ahah bout it,though

van's stone le philosophes et more

van is someone who has stage fright
and yet he plunger plummet inserts insists on being the music front man
was he an alkie?
did he have like the lead singer in 'dirty old town the pogues' did he have the booze, as one has heard, to try to give him that equinanimity which nonesuch offers other than wattsian calm?

van'

van'

not that i don't relate to people who want to kill themselves but

it is so much work and so little help hope when folks who are in the meets wanna kilter themselves because they always holster the trumpet card IF they truly want to leave this realm behind

an opened letter meant as a liftufp to the parents of babyboots

Dear Parents,
this school has a pattern, evolved sturdily over eons from rote rotating unlicensured sisters, of screaming,berating and physically slapping and spanking boy students.
now if this is where you are insane enough to send your kid, fine
otherwise, there is a perfectly new and ulimtately accessible public school for which your taxes already pay(here that daddyo? you can use that extra booze money at your hankytank hades you so appealing find).
so why not spare the rod and save the child
'specially the boys
because the girls we don't hit hardly ever but us nuns are so angry at the boys for showing some spunk, as mildly as they do , in such a setting
p.s. it is true, actually, that in thirty fourty years,
your young lad will attend sessions of the self-help group(yhear that poppabeerburner?)at which your alcoholism, as swell as his own, will be addressed and over the decades, several(well, two or three, anyhow) ex-nuns(their choice, not mine) will come up and give their former selves their comeuppance and say
ON BEHALF OF THE SCHOOLS WHO BEAT YOU
WE APOLOGIZE
wow that felt almost as good as when in vietnam that one tourist said
thank you (for prolonging a corrupt gov that was doom and deem to fall and thereby causting many millioards more lifetimes) for spraying agent orange all surround us:we never did like the forest no house
at which he will

why not just speak your mind?

Okay so you tell the boars and 'oars what you wink of them
so you get scaled and scalded by Mz Fishguttersniper herself

and

do you get fiered?
Hah, don't make me crackle up

do you get
in troubador trouble?

not really

and is it true or not truth that there glistens a cult of
they know better

baden-baden

chedck this out they is NOT 'bout to treat you decent

i was so like whatevering all the carpola that goeth forth and just thinking ach to heck with tall of it
it all pays the sham same and 'sides, getting treated badly is not the big deal
twipping on it is the big deal

ud rgwtif they is gonna treat me like the n word

today ath the office i did my thang but getting treated like a second class family member hurts
but then i just go ah what the hay
might as well say shuck it and just keep fluttering on
it all pays the same anyhouse

trapping ? awful... traipsing? sublime

she was not trappist but she felt impinged and maligned
by the narrowest of strait-lazered fundament
and the way they insisted it was not half hot enough in hadesfarm
for someone who supported gay rights and playwrights and the right to ban the bars and not brawn the bards

me? I always figured she was sort of a national treasure or a national emergent sea,sorta

awwm see, art is actualy whee i belong, or in a universe-city

am needing to truly not with anguish nor anger let go
of hopes at my job
that i wented to school for several years back again to get
and then found i was better fiscally a'fore i went
and what i learned helped but wasn't worht 60 grand, no hand

to allow it to heal away and flowerflurry is a signal of Yesness

the eraser can heal the floor
(not at this time, she cain't)
she unexclamied markering her terra infindubula...

str upi
are you engenerized like the clown said?
are you emerent with sliver scent?
aer you beyond the folly of spent on sports?
are you a problematic aprotagonistic non-ecstactic unromantic?

well
are you?

being a work-freak is highly overstraited

am seeking to be less work-obsessed
dew sew mulch show the MORE of life and not the boar chore

las tripas del el camino por la noche, seguridades

sonnet bellow below

this is one roadtrip indeed

postcards from not-at-home

always didn't like sleeping in any bed but my own at this home

even when going to the megacenters for epochal events
wished,come nightfall, i was in my own bed

guess that comes of leaving the litter too soon
and not gettling the nuzzling i needed from me mum,hmm

did she say"Im the optimist, that guy there,see? now HE, himself , is the pessermist

has been buzzard busy at the office
i went to see my therapist(first one I've gone to in like a decade or somesuch) and she is a very nice young lady.
she is helping me to see the optimism and not the awfulism,y'know? and also to really see Past my workerhaulism and my pefectiioniiishm and all that
and how i can grow and heal and slowdown and eat slower and look arround and surround myself in a calmness and smile and just not twip on stuff and muck like that
gotta admit, that's a lot to ask from one session...

did she say"Im the optimist, that guy there,see? now HE, himself , is the pessermist

has been buzzard busy at the office
i went to see my therapist(first one I've gone to in like a decade or somesuch) and she is a very nice young lady.
she is helping me to see the optimism and not the awfulism,y'know? and also to really see Past my workerhaulism and my pefectiioniiishm and all that
and how i can grow and heal and slowdown and eat slower and look arround and surround myself in a calmness and smile and just not twip on stuff and muck like that
gotta admit, that's a lot to ask from one session...

the ruts of alcholism and werke a haul izm rut very berry deep

lately at the office i've been realizing my coworkers and supers and all that don't have to 'preciate me in fact they can, if they so choose, think i'm the worst excuse for a person if they want
but i know better

no blood no fearfulness just forward to floowrard

yes to think the future and ongward and forward leads only in one 'rection: death, and afore that, some type of decays and decoys in our bod, though we will do our uttermost to minumalize it for certain

and how to heal and learn and know y'know?

CARGO CULTS, the halo effect and a tribute to the Westerhau effect

that one wouldn't need to actualy Be a certain way but jus wear the textiles associated with that status and stature and magically opooof it appears

also that presidenr johnson was a godlike in the eyes

also that when folks are watching us do what we do so well
sashay and heal and twirl

cow-orkers and not tattling nor prattling

'magine you're in a math class
you do all the 'singments and get a 98 % and you get an A,yea?A

now the cow-orker
does half the ass igmentmnts
doesn't do otter half
does most of em muckled up
and gets a 44% and also gets not an A but an A+
but the person who 'lows it to get under my mine
is muckling since i ain't bossy
bossy won't care so no use tattling nor prattling
best thing to do
figure: well maybe that is healthier way to be 'lows more time for oofing off,anyhows
maybe they ain't ocd like meye?

i did better today

i did better today
not being so obsessively compelled
it's about trusting and faith
not so much in the Lord or anything but in
the wisdom of healing and that I'll go whap-backlog if i listen to the carp of my own mind set

i know an exceptionally useful way to be in instant misery

that would be of course to drink alcohol

my mind-mercials tell me otherwise

my sperience tells me misery=drinkering

and when i look at death and don't blink, weep weep
but don't drinkypoo

with a mind like mine, i call it responding they call it reactoring, both =right

i respond and note and give such a highlevel of care
but
they don't want a high level of care given
they want tableaux cleansered and soulsongs snuffered

and i want to shuffle and say I'm georgia-gorgeous

this overjerk and oversmirk
is nothing but healering turned backwards
and so therer is nothing but no one being
awarify
and soft belly , the mediation state of calmness within
my innards want it
and they find the merciless workahaulism repugnant
the end is beachcombing

our agilities we sell them like sheepmongers

there is a robber's coach henchman facet of this working for others
we loose our goals and 'jectives
and work for them(nobel as those might swell be)

and in the interim(our lives unfoldering)
we loosen from our healingsongs and
oops there goes our lifelinetime doubltimed by the twin fears of notnow and who?me?

and i am thinking upon yew

and listening to mantras for releasing not relishing fear so feral

so many old records and books to jettison 'ere i die

THere was a game name of Lander
it was an early generation of 'pewter games
the purpose was to land on the moon with zero gas in your tank and zero mph as your velocity
sounds easy, don't it?
well...
so i would always crasher it
and not for the halibut
but 'cuz i couldnt figure out the so-to-speak rubik's cube formulae of the flight pattern

same thing with
old 45 rpm' records
and musky dusky lusky books

let someone else have 'em,neigh
and go forward
she who dies with the least toys
just her parka,actually
doesn't lose

help? I just cannot seem to release, i keep seeing layers upon layers, i wanna be dum like my cow0rkers

i been so stressoring at the office in terms of just seeing so much and overdoing it, it is like i work so berry berylium hardishyly hard and grow so weary cuz everthing i see all these aspects of it
my cow's only seethe the tipster of it and i am seeing so many connexions it maddenifies me and gets me soooo
twigged...
i just need to focus my soul's journey on some other aspects of healing
that i can pour my allness into within wherewithal...

what if fighting for something fair is driving you nutters

I realized that is just fine to 'fight' for something I b elieve in but also to let go if it doesn't come out my way
unless it is something majormajor
and ofttimes it is something relatively minor or just something that irks me cuz it isn't Fair in my mind
but i gotta learn to say
well
Fair is mellow
but being uptight about fair ain't
so i need to just chill about all of it and 'cept that sometimes what i feel is fair just gets what i consider a deaf ear by my supervisors(and they prolly feel the 'xact same way 'bout myself

what if fighting for something fair is driving you nutters

I realized that is just fine to 'fight' for something I b elieve in but also to let go if it doesn't come out my way
unless it is something majormajor
and ofttimes it is something relatively minor or just something that irks me cuz it isn't Fair in my mind
but i gotta learn to say
well
Fair is mellow
but being uptight about fair ain't
so i need to just chill about all of it and 'cept that sometimes what i feel is fair just gets what i consider a deaf ear by my supervisors(and they prolly feel the 'xact same way 'bout myself

to have a mom who is so good to oneself, how especial that must become

i am a goodly goose
i was in a crumby state today
listening to this youth on the radio who won the spelling bee and i think Wow, how neat her mom was like her best friend and teacher and she is sooooo confident
unlke us who 'tend to be equal
and to 'm,agine having a very ancient mum and how to help one another, the mature child helping the aged mom and uncloud each others soulsong
rather than loosing mine own as but an egg

how to recalim me from it

what DO we have to lose
and yet we are so cowardly as a sultan when it comes to reclamation of our soul soil so sultry yet unsullied

presto, the number has been deleted

um one scant prollem with that last poste:
since it (two days ago, such are the coarse carousels of lovers,ladybird)
went webside,
my friend has dump-trucked me

and so now it rings less true
the rewrite would read

it is poginangly pain-filled to know that a mere hour's away
someone who used to want me
now detests me
all cuz i cannot be whom they wish me to portray

how near thou art

there is a calmness most splendiferous what overdomes me
knowing that
somewhere just an hour's drive or a few day's hike
thou livest in splendid splendor

why not just go past it tall

those signs that would come in couplet form

DO NOT FEAR

TO CUT YOUR FINGER

IF AT THE RAZOR'S EDGE

YOU 'LOW YOURSELF TO LINGER

and such

and how the buddhist gal said that was like the clouds
let them be

or the famed
ILET EM WHIRL of the dervish-neighbor

or the colors in a jar like the brain of that cat in the wizard series

that's what the minsdowman sayeth

if you was me 'n

if you was me 'n
i was all you
my yin would yen
your yang would too

our cores would yum
(our pores could hum)
the total sum?
a she + a he-fearsiefearsX healing=tasty plum

THE HEALING HOPS IN

THIS IS A POEM ABOUT THE INNER ME WHICH IS THIN
UNLIKE THE OUTER ME WHICH NEEDS TO FATTEN DOWN
dumping memory
'lowing me to heal
awarenessing
re-un-harnessing
arising arousing sense surrounding
the halo helacious healing, Ach, the ache:
it hop hips in(so thin)

mokee from the hills and the redondo rebound redundant tanzerleibester

sorta tiredy today
it has been mokey(smokey) from the hills
and in an odd sequence
leaving go of sporting outcomes

at the meet this morni
as we talked about how when in our cups we would be so much more than we were
only to fizzle upon running a comb thru the next coming-to

and how family(for 'most all of us in residence)
was at the same time what we wanted most and whom we could least talk to most directly

it keeps on, y'know?

mokee from the hills and the redondo rebound redundant tanzerleibester

sorta tiredy today
it has been mokey(smokey) from the hills
and in an odd sequence
leaving go of sporting outcomes

at the meet this morni
as we talked about how when in our cups we would be so much more than we were
only to fizzle upon running a comb thru the next coming-to

and how family(for 'most all of us in residence)
was at the same time what we wanted most and whom we could least talk to most directly

it keeps on, y'know?

today was making such a strong effort to challenge my patterns of tripping on stuff and it worked

today was making such a strong effort to challenge my patterns of tripping on stuff and it worked
until i got into an internal overload mindset(a simple notepad woulda helped, i guess)
and wammokazamoo i was off and churning

but i mellowed out a bit skater

unthinkable to blame she who helps so grandly

unthinkable to blame she who helps so grandly
but
there it tis

never 'low an Overdoser to sleep

never have uysed opoioids or dopiates but was so saddled with saddy to learn that someone had old fashion thought 'lowing an overdosed young man to rest would somehow be a manna but instead the breathing faltered and fizzled

and now we who loved him are all gristle and humus

don't dump me plea?

babe i know you hasn't always approve of me
but goddess
don't dump me plea?
you are too precocity to my babyinnards
and would die, i would,
without you i witherings

the more i relax, with aid from dear friends, the more i heal

this dear friend athe morning 11th meet gave me the grandest embrace today and said she loved me and i kissed her cheek and said and I thee

and it was just such a healing sisterly moment



too bad both our fathers were such drunkards, aye

let it all out and heal and make art so sublime even the oars

let it all out and heal and make art so sublime even the oars cannot find a way surround it with their horrors

the keep-no-track-of-days not weeks but 1+1+1+1 of days

the(I'm off today, yea) bluejaye drops like it has fallen from the five foot fence, straddling the loquat tree with its drooping dropping drupules and hops like a detested villainous crow to rob some dry cat morsels
and I think
how could anyone keep veal calves and not believe they would burn in the lowest buddha hell?
and then i have some more vegan pizza and self-righteously say
"There is so much sad about this world"
and then
I think
of you

and it seems liveable again
and for this i am gratitude

the keep-no-track-of-days not weeks but 1+1+1+1 of days

the(I'm off today, yea) bluejaye drops like it has fallen from the five foot fence, straddling the loquat tree with its drooping dropping drupules and hops like a detested villainous crow to rob some dry cat morsels
and I think
how could anyone keep veal calves and not believe they would burn in the lowest buddha hell?
and then i have some more vegan pizza and self-righteously say
"There is so much sad about this world"
and then
I think
of you

and it seems liveable again
and for this i am gratitude

no more nazis vs russkies war reels on the 'tube for me,danka

nICHT UND NEIN because? porquoi i cannot hack nor handle the verity of it all the meannesses which make any thing EVER done to me look shabu shabby in 'parison nonpareil

it dreamifies my daymares and slashes at my pillowslip all the nightlong linger malingering

so it is back to old sixties tunes for me
the ones you never hear on the radio,y'know

you see i like helping my fellows alchies at our meetings and more

it makes my world tohelp those who can't stay clean and sober

only thing is i do that lottilots and wanna figure outa way to use this increidbly high powerd mind and soul of mine and my mien to
succeed
tried musics, art, novels, poetry(tip: if you can't attach a poem to a song, don't bother)
and all failings
mostliestly due to my cowardice and poor staying power and instant success lies

when i see the candidates, i want to fulfill my own dream, as swell

you see, for an academically oriented soul like unto myself
nothing could be more facile than being told
read this
watch that
print out this
type this
fill in that
here's your new higher degree
go to work doing it and prosper

the problem is
been there and did it and the umph to go back is not there(neither is the coinages)

so the degrees i do have are helpful
just i don't get paid full recompense for them
just compost and compote

so the thing i'm asking myself here is

what field can i enter which asks me to read study mesmerize regurglitate genuflect and move up the ladder?
can't think of none myself,iether

y'see, i studied X to become Y

I was gonna teach and tutor but didn't really have the requisite crack-the-whip classroom skills
so
on the rebound emotively from being told 'go substiitute for a while and learn'

i said heck with you all
i'll go back and get another degree in sky collogy
which worked well
except

(and this is some thing it would have been wisdom to consider 'ere I plunged the twiced)

when working with clients rather than with mechanisms and mechanos as i had done heretofore
i cared very much
see
when i was working in the engineering field
yes yes yes
i cared
but
not as much
that is
i always strove to do my best
yet it didn't grab me like
working with people's souls does

and so when i was in the eneginerering field
i left it at the office and also the numbers didn't fight one so
as do the humanities

oddly
one gets higher recompense for building than for souls

so what's a bodymindsoulheartspiritpsyche to do,'eh?

seemed like i was pert near born insecure
and as a full-grown, no commendation nor attagirl
can get me to truly embrace "I'm okay, just like them, and I belong in this world/this job. I needn't overwork just to be their equal" philosophy. It seems to duckbounce offa my too-oft tanned hide.
So what's a bodymindsoulheartspiritpsyche to do,'eh?
Well, meditation mends the mind, eating right is bright,
'spressing and cussin' seems to , in the right contexts, work
but good old unconditional, fully-nurtitional,untraditional love and acceptance,ah, now that's the cradle in which i can rest my baby within,and be there for otters as well.

so what's a bodymindsoulheartspiritpsyche to do,'eh?

seemed like i was pert near born insecure
and as a full-grown, no commendation nor attagirl
can get me to truly embrace "I'm okay, just like them, and I belong in this world/this job. I needn't overwork just to be their equal" philosophy. It seems to duckbounce offa my too-oft tanned hide.
So what's a bodymindsoulheartspiritpsyche to do,'eh?
Well, meditation mends the mind, eating right is bright,
'spressing and cussin' seems to , in the right contexts, work
but good old unconditional, fully-nurtitional,untraditional love and acceptance,ah, now that's the cradle in which i can rest my baby within,and be there for otters as well.

the mindless mechanism known as 'the system' doesn't know nor care if it chops up peeps or cornhusks,y'know?

the mindless mechanism known as 'the system' doesn't know nor care if it chops up peeps or cornhusks,y'know? it ain't adtually nothing with mal-intent just the fact that
there are so many of us humans in need

yes so many things to re-learn'

yes so many things to re-learn'
ere we die
to hell and bedlam with diettes
to heaven within with slow foods
ancient as an aztecs hopes-the-sprouting unpouting

went out with a really neat friend last evening
reminded me very much of the grecian urn by hyedigger
qualities of awareness
vocally re-focusing
many-bounded
yet also a freelander deepwelling wherewithall within
whereat earthland meetskyfowl flutterfalter sway sashay

all them fears as a lass laddie and how no hell, no devils, just drunkard parentiles

as i type
and tap it out in code
i think of feral fetters(unripe)
and how to live without 'em would be so babybold

all them fears as a lass laddie and how no hell, no devils, just drunkard parentiles

as i type
and tap it out in code
i think of feral fetters(unripe)
and how to live without 'em would be so babybold

the only sole thing i cannot fathom, nor compute nor calculate

what i can't grasp nor grip is this:
we have autonomy and why would a pill, which merely tells the mind"Stop hurting in the left big toe?"
be superbior to the mind itself saying
"Say, left big toe? How you? say could you stop the hurthing okay, nothing to hurt about now, just leftover owies..."
THIS OUTTGHAT BE THE HUGE FOCUS OF SCIENCE AND HEALING ARTS,nay?

poemsong OF THE death dealings

poemsong

to acknowledge unblinking
the death of the beloved
one's own leaving,unwinking
as into the void ungraciously shoved

never our wish
rarely our want
the pepper this dish
tears unrelenting font

the COUER rage to visit
she whose body's farewelling
'shadows our own 'parture(is it?)
bell's sprung, greanbeans unshelling

how those at the meeting knew the paings of 'lapsing into the lisp of angritude eternityintality fierwoowater lice and lies

the poor 'lapsers they came to the group to alert us: "don't go back out there it is vile and evil unto the n+1th extremity. stay sobercling"
so shall i shall

now my fiend she is sublimer
yet she drinkgs(she not in poram)
and so she told me ' i ain'there to guardian yoursobriety you is" and it ouched me at fir but i thought, wells, Ja, it ain't to her , up to ME (and the poram) so i thought well then i won't drink naturally but also i won't axe her about her drinkings, pros or conning. i will not suggest 'she have a drink or she not have a drinking' i will laugh when she decries her hangover or smile when stalks of her funning .
she didn't nundsteredand when i told her that i had never really much enjoyed drinking and that the last umpteen years for starton it was hades she couldnlt relish to that
goo for her,yah?

heal ling is hoppering in, it's floppering in, and the joy is sublime, thyme

i see my own healing hops in
the program folks keep me thin
helping me to see loosing = win

we
don't shoot our jacks nor our jills
when they stop sauce and pillls
we just help them to see new soberclean thrills

poemsong

poemsong
after so many years of healing
and decades of decoy and decay
our reunification movementus
brings our old 'mates and hates all to gather in a most singular largeroom
and they slurp the lagerfest whilst we wonder about einstein's god and the healingsong of the now manifests herself
ach, how we ache to unholster our joy and say
cuff the critiques,inner and outside our mind's gated wall

the innard's nest: revoom your hands betwixt usings of the mousse

also listening to kabat-zinn he is so righteously hyperfine in his medullations
and ulalations

the healing hops in and hop-less though nary hope-freed,

the healing hops in and hop-less though nary hope-freed,
i slither slumber and awarifyingly notice: there is less ice today than in days of bore

poemsong of the motherless, ach how to become a kidwithin again,O Ja

poemsong of the motherless
got to play and hang out with a joyous sometimes demanding cantankerous ingenious very marvel of a three-year old boy today and needed a babynap myself after our journies
may your inner three year old return all refreshed and revivivivivivied from the vivisectionists called the workplatz

the worms were exiting

the worms were exiting
they had been subhypno hydroponically induced
by liars called addled adults
back when i was a pre-alkie pre-overeater
this is called detox
fear it not
no feral nor peril
non-pareils et non-paralelleagrammaticon
uni-versifiedthe worms were exiting
they had been subhypno hydroponically induced
by liars called addled adults
back when i was a pre-alkie pre-overeater

the place they call the 'dub'(work)

the place they call the 'dub'(work)
has become my fixated hub(jerk)
so today i'm all a reeling(movies-of-the-mind)
combing in late, my entanglement untwined
and frogget it all the feral fearsies that might un-lurk

turn cold(not mean, she exclaimored) just cold towards my own inner fretcarping

be as cold with my own trippering as the otter bee towards myself as swell
and the healing can actutly re-occur

half a century ago, the lake froze in waveform cuneiform

all these half a century i had disremembered it as a dream
but no but notice
the ice has cometh again

now to warm my babysoul innards with pure uncondtuited love

off of ice/daily dust cloud clods unsubscribed

recently at the off of ice this highly negative (remember that photo of the dad and son in coveralls bent against the dusty winds of Oklahoma? that is about the same clods of cloudiness...) cow-0rk-er, i asked 'em to stop my subscription to their daily dumplings of dirty dump of gosssip and meanspiritedness and they nearly agreed(i had to be tactful and obtuse and use lotsa idle I statements, you can best 'magine.

i dove this realm i observe squirrels

I dove this world
I observe squirrels
THey eat pine cones
take the seeds-leave the scones

i walked along
i saw just trees
An orchid flower was all abreeze

I like the sun
(but just for its shades)
as a kid missed out on fun
but now healing days are my sashayed

in the sixth decade(no decoy to decay, just detours from the tour de booze and fearings)

in the sixth decade(no decoy to decay, just detours from the tour de booze and fearings)
who'd imagine preparing brocc-carro-caulio-oniono-curry-tatoe-celearium soup would give such shivers of Eureka,'eh,ducks?
nonce, to slowly engorge with sugarfreed jello strawb, strawbs-in-themselves, and the sugarfeed cocoalate puddings,as swel

up here they won't talk much,only attacus

her view of partial palates
and unconscious pilots
and the viola of gumbo
she was wary of the charing road
but nevertheless
she was nonce
to call herself lady dunce

like a drunken sow in a burlap bag, i begged astride the piano forte to be 'lowed to dance the charleston

fortunately, fortunato, the amantillado was in fact cheap beer
and they tossered me into the drunk rank
and when i came back next time
bestatined and besotted
the barkeep just said
nope
you ain't comin' in here tonight missy:
you can't handel your liquids,not hardly

upon listening to 'supper's ready' after a near thirty year hiatus, only to re-discover the grandeur that was peter the angel o'gabriel

yes how bravacito he was to just leap furlongs at a bound
shattering and re-fashioning
so many innovations who could 'magine?
and all the while the spirit voicers(dang the ego that pushpulled them apart but who could stand to be a mere aparatchik when HIMSELF was at the fore, all the knights,'eh,ducks?)
them selfsame spirit voicers were all a mewling
and the healings unfurled
'low this to be one's own lifesong lesson,si

sedcond seering

such a fabric as soul stuffings
many-teared from all the maulings
the overhaulers shouting "Get Thee Empowered,Empress!"
the undertakers whispering "Won't be long now, my pretty..."
but the baby girl within, sorely wounded
who needs herself to calmly insist and re-assert:Take A Nap
Awaken
Arise
Resurrect
and reclaim your godhood, babygirlbird

becoming one's own babygoddess within

Such a fabric as soul stuff
many-teared from all the maulings
the overhaulers shout "Get thee empowered"
the undertakers whisper"Won't be long now, my pretty."
But it is the babygirl within, so wounded
who needs to calmly insist and re-assert: take a nap
awaken, arise, resurrect and reclaim your godhood,ladygirl

upon Trinidad's mountainside

the frisky frolicsome calf of astute oceanic feeling,mountainside hutlein claire moon sonorous(not-readymade-unto-veal, I protesteth)
the colt of clarivoyance
only awaken to the random and seethe with the wisdom-song:
Goddess Herself sends and strewns our path with findings.
O founder not upon them, cleft and awaken arise
'long the western wander way(as the snow itself doth meltify)

upon Trinidad's mountainside

the frisky frolicsome calf of astute oceanic feeling,mountainside hutlein claire moon sonorous(not-readymade-unto-veal, I protesteth)
the colt of clarivoyance
only awaken to the random and seethe with the wisdom-song:
Goddess Herself sends and strewns our path with findings.
O founder not upon them, cleft and awaken arise
'long the western wander way(as the snow itself doth meltify)

no use bringing steak to salisbury,'eh,ducks

nowhere nears pick a lilly and the circumtuitious slavering galley of garlic lovin' grail seekers.
there was someone having a frappe' the same time someone else was lighting a fag
no ray of 'tear the legs off the starfish now'
no 'go back with the for ig ners to their shanty towns

only a sweet mewling as you listened
(for the umpteenth and N+!th time to the factorialized fractalisations of )
Misread by those non misantrhopes
the kings of convenience

it felt(to me) asthought i were preforming on my own mind-cam, replete with dyes in jars(not booze, but just dyed thoughts)

at the derrymost hubspokes of my mind, i noted what was going on in the trafficking about me and my keystroke was to neither stawl nor rev just calmly relish it tall

the feral cat could not co operate

the feral cat could not co operate
and those surround him ah they had to have operations
to heal the stitchery ah such sham witchery
that one of us is born
only to never know the peacefulness
of laying down the pistil like unto a tibetan flower god

nowya see why timetravel tales are my mostliest favorietestest?

i went back in time i went back
traveling to become my own papa
(fancifully, not biologically)
and i imperfectly yet definitively
granted unto my babyself
such love and care so tender

TIME TRAVEL, I WENTback in time and became my own pops

and all that love i deserved
i got
imperfectly but definitively

judgementalism, anger, and my idiot within

the language of anger anger its own lingo has
raspier than the raspberries of anguish
nor the gushy flushy writhings of terror steepled off at it's own cliffpoint
Tis a dictum of duress
get me mad,self, and i've an idiots vocabulary
my tongue seeks to be birthed in nazareth whilst speaking in golgotha shrieks
and that dazing gaze of judgementalism
leapeth to the stage, unstaggering

unspinning from the sandbowl mindset

i was mentally zoomering into a whirlpool and becoming like a lion which was dervish-bent and of a sudden
by opening without fear of attack nor remonstration
at my mitten
my fellow alkies and addicts helped whelp me through

since our own mum and pappy told us we didn't count, we never felt nor feel to this day that we count

so when someone else sorta says Hey you don't count
we sorta agree and say yah, you're right

that is the way they are and i am the way i am and wow i don't got the engerny to figheterflightfright them,know?

ahoy and this day i'm seekering to not see otters as wrong and me selves right far rather that they are for\\\in and unto themselves in their personal peculiarframework 'right' and so am i within my own
framework and in this way i liveing the very course in miracles, curse it(kidding about the 'curse it' but it does take away some of the seamy dramaturge don't it?

jonestown of the mindset

me? i was a drunkard, dreameless, uncaring, back when johnestown's vile cyanic blue floodtided so reddened, sorely wreaking

emtoinally, the so-called church i was raisered in as an oft strapped lad
was a jonestown of the babysoul

no tropical,neither

jonestown of the mindset

me? i was a drunkard, dreameless, uncaring, back when johnestown's vile cyanic blue floodtided so reddened, sorely wreaking



emtoinally, the so-called church i was raisered in as an oft strapped lad

was a jonestown of the babysoul



no tropical,neither

why,tisbut anexcuse tobemean

or is it flensing
and how they shoot small game so called
hoiw unelenightendly saddysaddled

in a whorl, in a whirling wind

wisherin' had your holster-less handy handling
to help unyoke me from the feral fearsies
which trot about so
and do so fearifieze a guy

sides
my insides say
'sidereally
'sidling
why should i spect difference?
many unrightenings exist
and unkindlinesses not only about but thrive
so being nice is nice but no too enticing to the otters

The healing hopped in at the shore
we gasped about for several chores
to make us
feel fully used
and not recused

we looked into the watteage prow
and knew the theme of belly powwow
heaping
for the sleep
into which our tides neap

saw the book, read the flim

saw part of
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
it is a trippy film and I 'm rather biased since, having had it selected for my by my departed beloved big sister when I was a teen and re-reading it recently myself, i have my preconcepts of how people talk,look,act and most especially the value they given to the differing phrases or events which are portrayed(like, I don't like the way the producer handles either the tragedians OR the coin-flipping and many soliloquies are like smushed in), built in i know for viewing films after reading the book...

no hugs for a six year old? incroyable, you incorrigibles

the fate: never to cojmprehehend how the family after the mater bit the tater how she passed how we could be without any hugs or anyone to coddle up with
how does a six year old go a dozing doyen's decade plus without a singular hug ever?
no beeliefiab le
nay
and those who got the hugs when owies struck, good for thee

and for those like ourhleves who got none
how emptied we is and how needy we bee
and how mush the hugging we now need from our adult companions

why wouldn't my parents love me or yours love you?

we was hurted so bad
as lass and lad
Oh mum Oh dad
help us not feel worthless and unworthy
wouldn't that have been a worthwhile gig for them to take
instead of swigging on that dam ole rum cake?

why wouldn't my parents love me or yours love you?

we was hurted so bad
as lass and lad
Oh mum Oh dad
help us not feel worthless and unworthy
wouldn't that have been a worthwhile gig for them to take
instead of swigging on that dam ole rum cake?

her folly was to make cleansering her haus into the artform and thence when she proached her artings-n-themeslves, all her engeneries weasel-shelfed

to clean haus OR

to do art of mixed up mediars

do the art first

an hte cleaning its like when you go cramping in the moutains you see someone proaching the path you don't go"Wow, what an expensive shirt. they must be nice peole/ nope you think wow a person, hope they ain't a jerk

same wit the artings

when one truly getsin to touche with her art she ain't fearing about how clean her collards is