yep, she's one of us, so sit down, have a cup of strong coffee,sister, and listen up real good now,'kay?

when it comes to talking-on-the-phone to someone i've never met and just 'met' over the 'net, I am sorta fully stuck back in the last century, or perhaps its predecessor, since I like to get to be friends first over the keyboard and its 26 to the 26th powered empowerings.
Quirky, I 'fess, but we all have our ways, 'eh?


not long back(with a detour to purchase chow) from a cantankerous post-holiday let it all hang out session,and methinks that since that potent sauce no longer, day following another, bastes our goose, we recreate in miniature( an anthro teacher shared that in any subset of recoering people one could find the same views as in the fuller world, only more polarized,)to just let the world-in-micros found within the many-tabled rooms, replete with the world's mulchiest and possibly worst coffee, where even the decaf could make a sailor pray, become the therapy room and let-it-all-hang-out and just share ad nauseum, but oddly I fit in ever so well. And for me it beats my past of sitting on bar stools looking for that befriending which, since I didn't like myself, wasn't gonna hop in.

saw that vid on youtube about the chacmools of CC of dJ

Here is the 'rule-of-thumb' I seek to apply to my days off:
be with grand friends at the meets and
forgo thoughts of the office and my clientele
(they can find their own baba of wawa to drink in my abscence, I just know they can.)
there are times, one must 'fess I do worry about my clientsele, though it ought to be
'get-a-life' when I waderlessly wade into those mulch- and- muck mindstreams,
I'm not the kind to jot with a poisoned plume.
This one friend of mine, now a former friend, truly scarred my emotions today, superficially,tis true. I bespoke my large sadness over the vile evil upwhirling in the former Bombay and the response was
You're not god(nor God), stop troubling yourself, get off the cross, we need the wood, and such. Also, in a don juanian "I-never-think-about-stuff-I -don't-like' denialist way(i adore dJ but some of his utterances per CC are just so not even)" and I myself believe there is SOO much we can 'do about it'
Every words spoken by my now former friend were in Americanized English(Long Live The Nacirema, that backwards glancing clan, replete with their potlaches and latching onto barge-in bargains)
yet the sentiments were alien in the most fulsom mannerism.

we oughta be able to figure out a way not to need to have to work for a living and help society everso much moreso

that would the ideal be
to use this mind not for alcoholic fearful fetter fretting
but to figure a way to be both more utile to socialiety
and also to make a living more respectably than 'oaring and boaring,y'know?

don't much matter long as i am calmycalmstaars

qai head for my tubbing scrubbing and who-knows-really =which of my myriad books to peruse like a submariner on the surface of the moon's mountainranges
which book i shall read

digressions on Doc Dyer

For me, getting up an hour early to listen to the CD where he talks about the variations on Om in the different religions of the world and also where he gets really intense about opening up, was truly helpful to me. I 'fess that I had to have the surgery anyhow, but my responses were so much less and my healing was swift. I do believe IF I had gone to that belief system earlier, I would have been alleviated of the ailment entirely but i had let it go on too long, y'know?I also must say that, for example, when my mom died when I was five,there is no way now or then,especially, I could have seen no woe.I am sure that from the 'right frame of mind', one might have that perception, but I am so far from that collosally celestial and ego-unbound mindset and soul-walk, that there is no way I can claim that perch..My biggest question nowadays is How can we use our minds the same way we use medications, since medications just tell our minds what to tell our bodies to do...I believe in this and yet have not moved very far at all along that perch

to learn from my own false takes

to learn from my own stakes
when the possum tangled with the pooch
the pooch always lost
when i mussed with perfectionism i always had to wind up drinking sleet soda

iother kids didn't Really believe that god stuff with all the devils out to get you but
in my home
they were practially
fiends of the family
and were postered all over the wall much bigger than wrestler's gooseyes

the glut of guilt for staying home neath the quilt

when i restume my dutues tomorrow i do not need to go
oh my stars ieghty phone calls to answer
nope
most all of it can be chalked up to already tookend care of(accurately and aptly)
and the meanness of the cows orkers well expecct it they is self centered to an degeree that would be digireedoo healthy for myelf me ooh to attain obtain untol, see
i never call in sick
that in itself should say something about my perfectionishm and astoundishingly slavish minddust

nevertheless
today i am not fully ready nor abel to resume my duties most dutifully
and in my mind am 'ready twipping on specifics of clients et al
now that in its shelf is unhealy
so it is mandatatoratory that to averse purge a tory i
realize the hellishness that my mind puschts me into
that is:
i must get all this right
none must have anything to criticialize me for
i mustn't make a boo,boo
and i cannot bend but must meet all criteriaon
(i am not talking about unethical or anything of that naturum at all, i am talking about
my own much higher standarts and how i can keep those but more relaxedly
I HAVE BEEN TAKING THIS JOB STUFF WAY TOO SERIOUSLSIILY
and need to get a leaf(not weed but make like a tree and leave it behind)
i can't resume after being ill for a couple weeks to cupola back in and canalize my mindsoulbabygoodness back into a squishydwishy of
i must make up for lost time
you cannot make up for 'lost time' temps perdu
and so stopper going about search and researching for them
and also being ill ain't no crime,clime

as over the grape stalks i trapezoid traipsed

as i walked i noted
my biking boots left big grapplehooks of tender mounds of leftovers

there were so myriad a passersby yet not but twice did I pull away from my focus

there were a few shouted Hey you with the bloomers, wassup?
but i was focusered on my archeoplyx multipfindingish

i was the miles standish of the now

i retrieved a bit of brokered off recoiled rustworthy truckspring
(aching to be entered unchanged and untrampled into an unresisting piece
and i noted peculiarly twisted bits of grapecurlings
which had swung so glibly from the overarching wired-upon

i saw shards of bottled thickness
which would not splattershat unless they were hammerfired

and to think of the bottlecaps themselves
so pristine on one side
so replete with muckingmulch on their netherrealms

there were wood splurts that were unbenumbing in their agility to aha and wakify the open-toed mind-sandal-soul
IF ONLY ONE WOULD IGNORE THE IGNOMINIOUS BEETS AND GALOOTS AND THEIR whatthehadesmerceymeiswrongwithyou,there,dumbdum?

one can
one can]
one did
of a once

cuz i am not abel to be there and not cough my fool head on

i am gonna call in sick tomorrow i am NOT up to three groups;lectures etc
to hell with guilt and its glut-quilt

cuz i am not abel to be there and not cough my fool head on

i am gonna call in sick tomorrow i am NOT up to three groups;lectures etc
to hell with guilt and its glut-quilt

i cherish this hindu chakra way of viewing life

viewing on the 'tube(U) some vids on the chakras and realizing how close to my own experience this spiritual path is to my own viewpoint from my life so far...
not that i am of that persuasion as a faith system but i like that it matches so much better than the one i was coerced into, to the truths of this here universe of ours.

feeling more? good

emotionally awakened
sad thing about getting aware is we feel our pain more But
we can move through genuine grief and not be mucked back

i plan to heal and return to being hale and my alkie peerage is the reason why

my crazoid skalkyhaulic mindbrain was twippering 'bout my having really yucko coughing and such and i stormed into that doc's offices ready to DEMAND antibiotics and she gave me an inhaler treatment and that tamed me right up and then she gave me some nose spray and some allergy otc and some benadryl otc and told me to sorta rub my chest with vapor stuff and also so now, oddly, i am when i feel like coughing putting a hand on my chest and one on my gut and i cough less plus i sorta stroke my throat very gently like one would comfort a 'sturbed friend
and so with all that
i'm turning it and not gonna stay sick and tonight i plan on sleeping truly swell

it crackered 'em up that in 'allergies?' i told them one antibiotic i can't hack(it makes me itch all aover) and one other antibiotic that makes my throat feel like i've been guzzling hotsauce)
and also added "Oh, I'm an alkie: nothin' with the sauce in it."

now for a cat, with her innate consciousness, to enjoy hunting, it makes sense, even when they are stuffed

these here cats o' mine
they are fatso's and also overeaters notorious
and yet
with the rainwaters flooding the groundswell
and causing the terrified mice to act out their last choice
akin to one from a burning building's
do i get smashed on the ground or asphyxiated in my rooms?

their choice: i smell cat, wet cat,
do i dare exit my domain
or may i stay here and drown
and unlike the dormice in the caucus race
they cannot much swim and no naught of its wiles
so they scurry without
and are pounced and pumice by the fatcats
who eat only heads and shoulders and leave the remainders for
well
el jardinero y yo
to pick up and toss
'course i don latex for such a soiled task
and feel sad that fellow vegans are privy to such beastly dilemmas in this here life

so needlessly she went back out and gained the doorstoop nary again

I affirm that tis corrrect how much i have need for healing and helping others heal

I love being mellow calm as a clam and sober hipster

at one and teh same i enjoy being enthused and directive

i do believe in meanings

if someone is suffering and wants their sobriety back
i wanna be of assist

i grow so saddened and addled when sisters and brothers go back out again to use booze and sink into the dirge of the drug scourge

it is like our minds are not wound fully and leaving that opening the chill gets in and we grow ill, psychically unwell
from the upwelling of madness that is relapse

it is horrendous to me to hear tales of exploration back into the realm of auto-poisoning

such a hideous banshee that wail is

some how the mind is muddied by the hoe of the hootch

and our over-concern about something minor gives sway to self mutation back into the unloveable one

so needlessly she went back out and gained the doorstoop nary again

I affirm that tis corrrect how much i have need for healing and helping others heal

I love being mellow calm as a clam and sober hipster

at one and teh same i enjoy being enthused and directive

i do believe in meanings

if someone is suffering and wants their sobriety back
i wanna be of assist

i grow so saddened and addled when sisters and brothers go back out again to use booze and sink into the dirge of the drug scourge

it is like our minds are not wound fully and leaving that opening the chill gets in and we grow ill, psychically unwell
from the upwelling of madness that is relapse

it is horrendous to me to hear tales of exploration back into the realm of auto-poisoning

such a hideous banshee that wail is

some how the mind is muddied by the hoe of the hootch

and our over-concern about something minor gives sway to self mutation back into the unloveable one

these books on the evolving of life from non life in the primordial sluggish soup

the spirit realm is for our spirits
the biosphere is for biotics
so when reading books which desribe how polymers got togehter i like to think of it like the beatles
first j met p
and they also connect with G and then the guy who they used his garage and kicked him out and then the guy who died and then ringo or was it another but the point is
like when the guy who inventeored whip creme wasn't trying to make whip creme
and the folks who invnetned peanut and jelly probably meant something else too
(a f riends' step dad made me eat a peanutbutter and butte r sandwhich as a lad and i most puked, truly)
so if folks could just let the spiritual which is not emobided and the phsycial which is its own realm
not be either or about it
sure life arose from chemicals playing about and having a leap forged
so what
that don't mean they c an't beelive in the spirit life,seething,ses